Stopping all treatment

[PattiDean]

Today Dean and I decided to stop all treatment, the Vidaza and transfusions.

He is so very weak, and his quality of life is not improving, he no longer has the strength to go on.

We have called Hospice and they will be here today.

When Dean spoke to his oncologist today, we asked him how long he feels Dean could last without anymore treatment and he said just a couple of weeks because all of his counts are so very low.

I am afraid to ask what is going to happen now, but yet I want to know. I know Hospice will help Dean with any discomfort, but what will happen over the next few days now that we have stopped all care.

Thank you to everyone on this forum for always being here to give me support, hugs, hope, and friendship. Fifteen months ago we had no idea what we would be facing. A week before we found out Dean had MDS, Robin Roberts announced that she had this disease. We never thought that a week later Dean would be in a hospital and we would find out he also had this disease that we had never heard of.

It has been a long, hard fifteen months. Constant doctor visits, transfusions, shots, chemo, labs, hospital stays, etc., yet Dean has never complained or been angry, just very scared at times. We didn't have a chance to do much together during these last fifteen months, we feel as though we were eating, sleeping, and breathing MDS constantly, but we did have fifteen months together, and we are so thankful for that gift.

Please keep Dean in your thoughts and pray that he will have peace and comfort during these next few weeks. Thank you so much.

Lots of love, hugs, faith, hope, prayers and a little laughter every day!

[susanML]

I am so sorry - You both are in my prayers - and have put on a really hard fight. I dont know what to say other than you have my love.

[DebS]

I was so sorry to read your post this morning. You have both worked and fought so hard. You have been such an inspiration to everyone on the forums!

May God give peace and comfort to both of you.

God Bless!

Deb

[Marlene]

Hi Patti,

So sorry to hear Dean is struggling so much. Please speak to them about palliative care as well as hospice care. They should be able to combine the two so that he's as comfortable as possible.

It's all very exhausting.

All my best....Marlene

[Sally C]

My dear Patti and Dean,
We have become good friends over these last 15 months although we have never actually met.
You have both fought so hard and you have been so strong in spite of such difficult circumstances - as well as caring for and then losing your Mother on top of that.
I have constantly prayed for you both and will continue to do so. I know you are people of faith. I hope the knowledge that God is with you every step of the way will bring you some measure of comfort.
Patti, I am here for you in any way I can help. Dean, you have been a brave warrior and I wish you peace.
In spite of the very difficult time you have had Patti, you have never waivered in your eloquent support of everyone on the forums and I know it has been deeply appreciated by all.
God Bless you both on the rest of your journey.
With love and prayers,
Sally

[slip up 2]

Patti & Dean....

Yesterday as i was driving along the highway.....was thinking about you & MDS & the journey we have all been on....the people we have lost, not only on this forum, the people that we make friends with at the clinics.....life is so busy with MDS, as you say Patti....life revolves around MDS.....my Pal has been gone a year now & still find this forum a peaceful place & a place of great strength.

Patti, you & Dean are in my thoughts
Kate

[Chad S]

Patti, I have been reading the forums since my wife was diagnosed several months ago. I have not posted yet because I never know what to say. But I feel like I just have to tell you that I have been following your story and I have prayed for you and Dean. You are such an inspiration and I am just so very sorry of your latest news. I will continue praying for you and Dean every day.
God bless you,
Chad

[Mseth]

Patti & Dean, I am a new member but have read many of your earlier posts.

Can well understand what you must go through. May you have the strength to face this unfortunate situation.

[MagicBob]

Hi Patti and Dean,

Dru and I are ever so sorry for you both, and we find it very difficult to find words of comfort as we have been following each others paths.

I didn't want to make this another coincidence but I guess God wants us to meet each other, and celebrate our 77th birthday with Him.

My doctor stop treating me on Monday, and he strongly suggested Hospice, and since this past Wednesday I am under their care.

Give Dean a big hug from us, and will talk with you later; this has been an
awfully tough week.

OUR LOVE, PRAYERS, HUGS AND COMFORT,

Dru and Bob MagicBob

[Sally C]

Dear Bob and Dru,
There are just no adequate words.
You have also been such a positive and constant support to all on the forums. Your attitude and bravery has been an inspiration to us all.
God Bless and comfort you both, your family and loved ones.
As with Dean and Patti, know that God is with you every step of the way.
With love and prayers,
Sally

[redslw]

I'm relatively new to the forum, but I've been reading through the posts. My heart goes out to your family and to Magic Bob's. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Sharon (redslw)

[DebS]

I have been following your story also. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. God bless you for the strength and comfort you have been to so many on this forum.

Comfort and peace to you both.

Deb

[LizR]

I think of you often and say prayers for all. I enjoy your finding out each other's similarities and how you always take time to send good wishes for everyone else.

Please know we are thinking of you all.

Liz and Bob

[Whizbang]

Patti and Dean &
Dru and MagicBob,

I'm not really good with this kind of stuff, there are no words I can say...

God Bless and be with you and take care of you...

Will think of you guys often...

Dave.

[katgio50]

Patti and Dean,
I have followed your story the last 15 months and have been so inspired by your love and dedication and by your loving,giving spirit. I do not post often but read the forum every day. You always were there for others and so I am not surprised at the support now given back to you. I personally identified with the fact that it was just you and Dean and no immediate family. That is also the case with my husband and I. I know how hard this must be for you and how alone you must feel. We all are praying for strength for both of you as the journey of life continues. God bless you!
Kathy

[PattiDean]

Dean received his last transfusion of PRBC and platelets today. His oncologist wanted him to have this so he could get through the week end. Tomorrow morning Hospice will be here to speak to us.

Thank you so very much to each of you for your kind and supportive posts, they mean the world to us and give us peace in these final weeks. Each of you are going through your own struggles and still wanted us to know that we are in your thoughts. Dean and I wish we could meet each and everyone of you in person. You give us strength to face the days ahead and we feel less alone, thank you for all you have given to us.

As always we send our love, hugs, faith, hope, prayers and a little laughter each day,

Patti and Dean

[PattiDean]

Hi Patti and Dean,

Dru and I are ever so sorry for you both, and we find it very difficult to find words of comfort as we have been following each others paths.

I didn't want to make this another coincidence but I guess God wants us to meet each other, and celebrate our 77th birthday with Him.

My doctor stop treating me on Monday, and he strongly suggested Hospice, and since this past Wednesday I am under their care.

Give Dean a big hug from us, and will talk with you later; this has been an
awfully tough week.

OUR LOVE, PRAYERS, HUGS AND COMFORT,

Dru and Bob MagicBob


Dearest Bob and Dru,

Like you, Dean and I find it so very difficult to find words of comfort. Sometimes it is hard to find the words to express what we are feeling. I know that meeting you through this forum has helped Dean and I more than you could know.

Your friendship through your posts made Dean feel as though he was no longer going through this alone, although he wanted the outcome for the both of you to be different than it is now. We wanted to believe that both of you would get through this, and we would have an awesome 77th birthday celebration for two very special guys!

You and Dean will meet, and you will have a wonderful birthday celebration, You have both been through so much, and have faced it with dignity and courage. You are both heroes to Dru and I.

We hope we will continue to be in touch. You mean the world to Dean and I.

We are sending back (((HUGS))) to you and Dru, along with hope, faith, love and prayers. We are also praying for peace and comfort for both of you during this very difficult time.

Patti and Dean

[billyb]

Patti and Dean we are praying for peace and comfort, y'all are in my thoughts and prayers.....Billy and Tina

[bebop]

Patti and Dean. Dru and Bob, my heart just sank for you all. I know how it feels when the drs stop treatments. I went thru it with my Dad 2 yrs ago. They tell you of all the things that can happen at the end and thankfully none of that happened with Dad. Everyone is different. Dad did not go on hospice and was not in alot of pain, in fact he never complained of any pain until 3 days before he passed. I am here for all of you if you need an ear. Praying for you all right now.

Elaine

[Neil Cuadra]

Patti and Dean,

We've been through so much together, at a distance, that it's hard to find the right words to say.

You've always looked forward, done what's best, and had so much courage. So let's talk about the future, not the past.

I hear nothing but praise for the caring people who provide hospice services. There's so much to be said for a peaceful environment, caring attention, and treatment focused on comfort.

If you want to read about what typically happens, medically, after treatment can no longer be continued, there's a forum thread about it, but of course nobody can accurately predict the specifics or the timeline.

I hope you can use your time to talk, reminisce, and love each other and those around you. That's what we should all remember to do, no matter where we are in the journeys of our lives.

I have nothing but good wishes to send your way and I will be thinking about both of you every day.

[PattiDean]

Dear Billy, thank you to you and Tina for your thoughts and prayers during this time. You are both going through so much, but you always take time to help other people on this forum. You are an inspiration to us.


Elaine, thank you. We have decided to go to Hospice because we are alone, no family and we both need support during these final weeks. My mother passed away in April, she was only in Hospice a short time, but they took wonderful care of her. They were also very supportive of my needs during this time. Right now, thankfully, Dean isn't in any pain, but he is so very weak, he can only take a few steps, then he becomes short of breath. It is so difficult seeing him go through this. Thank you for your prayers and for being here for me!

Neil, thank you for sharing the link with me. I do wonder what will be happening to Dean during these final days, I want to be prepared, but as I could see, each person is different.

Dean's counts are so very low. His labs on Thursday were: WBC is 0.5, has been low for months, but thankfully he has not had an infection or been sick. The RBC is 2.10, Hemoglobin - 7.8, but he did receive one unit of PRBC yesterday, his last transfusion. His oncologist wanted to get him through the week end. Dean's platelets were 8, they haven't gotten above 16 these last few weeks.

You are the one that has been here for me, and I thank you so much for that.

Dean will be leaving me with his courage and dignity as he went through all of this the last fifteen months. Many days he was stronger than me. He never became upset, scared a few times, but never angry that this was happening to him. He endured so much, but tried so very hard to say positive.

We both want to thank everyone on this forum for their kindness, support, inspiring stories, prayers and thoughts. You have become our friends through this forum and we have felt less alone because of you. Thank you to each of you who have posted to let us know we are in your thoughts during this time. I hope you know how much that means to Dean and I.

I always end with love, hugs, faith, hope, prayers and a little laughter each day.

Patti and Dean

[bebop]

I remember the day they gave dad his last. all his counts were really low too. he made it 1 day short of the month they gave him. Spend all the time you can and I know you will. enjoy the time you have left. I am now and forever will be here for you. Much love and peace to you. My heart breaks for you and Dean.

[Susan L]

You both an amazing couple - I am saddened by this and wish there is something that we could do or say to make things different. I so wish you love and blessing of God to help you thru this. Susan

[curlygirl]

Patti and Dean, and Dru and MagicBob, I am praying for strength and love for you. Dean and MagicBob, best of luck on your next great adventure.

[edithr]

Dear Patti and Dean & Dru and Bob,

All of you, along with your friends and families, are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I could add something brilliant & profound, but really, there are no words. Thank you for sharing.

Here is a virtual group hug from all of us on Marrowfourums.

[Honeybun]

Dear Patti and Dean & Dru and Bob

I am sorry to hear the news. May you find strength during this difficult time. You are all an inspiration to the forums.

My thoughts and love are with you.

Honey

[Birgitta-A]

Dear Patti and Dean,
Warm regards to both of you!
Birgitta-A

[gramous]

Hello Patti and Dean,

I'm so sorry to see that the news are not good. You're a source of inspiration for all of us, It's need courage to decide to stop treatment and I feel in your words that you're both, you and Dean sure and in peace with your decision. You will be in my though and I'm praying for your interior peace, friendly regards and big hugs, Béné

[PattiDean]

To each of you who have taken a moment to tell Dean and i you are thinking of us and keeping us in your prayers, thank you for all the support you have offered during this difficult time. Your heartfelt words touch us deeply and bring us comfort.

"Dying is what gives all our days meaning. If we lived forever on earth, what would another day mean to us?"


Patti and Dean

[susanML]

You all are in my thoughts daily - One day there will be one heck of a reunion - Love and prayers to you. Susan

[Cheryl C]

Dear Patti and Dean, Bob and Dru

Thank you for the courageous examples you have set to all of us. My thoughts and prayers are also with you. I pray that you will have the "peace that passes all understanding" and that you will never give up hope that you will meet again in the better land.

[Honeybun]

Under a dimly lit lamp post, let me take hold of your hand.
We will travel on a journey, but not to foreign or exotic lands.

Lets dip our toes in tranquil waters, warm and crystal clear
Then bathe each other with understanding, to wash away any tears.

We can climb the highest mountain, and rest up on its peak
Where we can sit and chat for hours, to explore the answers that we seek.

Come run with me through the grassy fields, on a sunny autumn's day
Confronting all the doubts that bother us and chase all fears away.

We can feed each other on tender morsels, not the savoury, just the sweet
Gorge ourselves for hours on happy memories and other special treats.

We will soar with the big majestic eagles, high up in the sky
Where nothing bad can touch us, and stronger we shall fly.

Our journey will take us along many roads, which direction is hard to say
But I know that I have your hand firmly gripped, and I will never lose you along the way.

For sometimes the roads may become rocky, and for some weary travellers the journey will sadly one day end.
But I am so lucky my path led me to you and so blessed to call you my partner and my best friend.


`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.··»-(¯`v´¯)-» Written by Honey »-(¯`v´¯)-»`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·

[tytd]

Dean, Patti, MagicBob and Dru,
Thanks for sharing your courageous struggles with this disease. You help all of us in so doing. You are in our thoughts. And big thanks to Neil for maintaining this forum and all your wise advice. Marie

[PattiDean]

Under a dimly lit lamp post, let me take hold of your hand.
We will travel on a journey, but not to foreign or exotic lands.

Lets dip our toes in tranquil waters, warm and crystal clear
Then bathe each other with understanding, to wash away any tears.

We can climb the highest mountain, and rest up on its peak
Where we can sit and chat for hours, to explore the answers that we seek.

Come run with me through the grassy fields, on a sunny autumn's day
Confronting all the doubts that bother us and chase all fears away.

We can feed each other on tender morsels, not the savoury, just the sweet
Gorge ourselves for hours on happy memories and other special treats.

We will soar with the big majestic eagles, high up in the sky
Where nothing bad can touch us, and stronger we shall fly.

Our journey will take us along many roads, which direction is hard to say
But I know that I have your hand firmly gripped, and I will never lose you along the way.

For sometimes the roads may become rocky, and for some weary travellers the journey will sadly one day end.
But I am so lucky my path led me to you and so blessed to call you my partner and my best friend.


`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.··»-(¯`v´¯)-» Written by Honey »-(¯`v´¯)-»`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·





Honey, this is beautiful, thank you so very much for sharing it with Dean and I. It is even more special because you wrote it, we had tears in our eyes, but they were good tears.

[Al's Wife]

Patti and Dean,

I haven't been on the forum lately and am so sorry to hear that things have not turned around for Dean. I think Honey's poem was beautiful and said it all.
Please know that we are all embracing y'all. I so wish there was something else to say or do.
I hope Dean won't experience any pain during this part of his journey. But if he does, hopefully hospice along with you will be able to stay on top of it. That is one thing I've learned when caring for loved ones, you have to stay ahead of the pain and not wait until it gets too far along. I don't know personally how true it is, but Dr. Komrojki spoke at a seminar we attended and he said that the one good thing about MDS is that there is no pain. Let's hope he was right.
God bless you both today and always. There is still a part of me that wants to hope for a miracle.
And as others have said, Patti, you have been so sweet and supportive to so many of us when we were down, we are here for you.
Peace and courage to both of you,

[Al's Wife]

Magic Bob and Dru,

Well, the forum is just full of bad news today. So sorry to hear that the doctor stopped treatment last Monday.
Hoping for peace and comfort. God bless,

[maggiemag]

For Patti and Dean, and Dru and Bob:



{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Thank you for letting us bear witness to your faith and courage! It is a privilege. May you have peace in this part of your journey, and may your trust in the Lord sustain you.

Mags

[Snuuze]

Patti & Dean, I'd like to add my comments to those made by others in the past few days. Your courage has been inspiring, and your willingness to share your experience has been invaluable to those of us walking through the mire of MDS. I can relate to living & breathing MDS. It can truly consume you. I pray that now that you aren't fighting the disease you can walk through the next few weeks together with the focus on "together" and not on MDS. Know that God will provide you with the strength you need to face the future.

[PattiDean]

We are so grateful for each and everyone of you.

Thank you so much for the love, prayers, hugs, and caring thoughts, each of you are giving us strength and comfort in these final days. We are very blessed.

Dean is very weak, not eating, and sleeping most of the day. I pray that he doesn't suffer very long.

Love, hugs, faith, hope, prayers and a little laughter each day,

Patti and Dean

[bebop]

I remember Dad stopped eating and for the most part even drinking water. One day he ate like crazy. It was only a few days before he passed. Hon you know we are all here for you! be sure to take some time for yourself though. You are going to need your strength. I know you are probably spending every minute with him as I know you would. My heart is just breaking for you all. Praying he doesn't suffer. I pray for peace and comfort for you hon.

Elaine

[NLJabbari]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Dean. I pray that you be surrounded by peace and love. God bless you...Hugs

[MagicBob]

We are so grateful for each and everyone of you.

Thank you so much for the love, prayers, hugs, and caring thoughts, each of you are giving us strength and comfort in these final days. We are very blessed.

Dean is very weak, not eating, and sleeping most of the day. I pray that he doesn't suffer very long.

Love, hugs, faith, hope, prayers and a little laughter each day,

Patti and Dean

Hi Dean and Patti, if any one knows, you guys really know how Dru and I have been with you all the way and will continue to pray for a miracle, or should I say miracles. God has blessed Dean and I with great wives; and in additional; by each and every one of you.

We are all pray for what is best for us and that God will bless us with His comfort.

My Hospice Care is excellent, just like I heard from others over the years.

Patti, did Dean start with Hospice?

We are all in God's hands and He will carry us into eternal peace.

WITH ALL OUR LOVE,

Dru and Bob MagicBob

[PattiDean]

Hi Dean and Patti, if any one knows, you guys really know how Dru and I have been with you all the way and will continue to pray for a miracle, or should I say miracles. God has blessed Dean and I with great wives; and in additional; by each and every one of you.

We are all pray for what is best for us and that God will bless us with His comfort.

My Hospice Care is excellent, just like I heard from others over the years.

Patti, did Dean start with Hospice?

We are all in God's hands and He will carry us into eternal peace.

WITH ALL OUR LOVE,



Dru and Bob MagicBob


Dear Bob and Dru,

Dean was moved to the local Hospice home this afternoon. He was very,very weak and had no strength, also sleeping a lot and not eating.

I am with him now and he is resting comfortably. He said he is tired and wants to say "good bye" now. We know he will be with The Lord and he will no longer be suffering. We will be together again, and he will watch over me until then.

Bob, Dru and I have been blessed with two very caring and loving husbands who have fought this battle with courage,strength and dignity. We love you!

I will keep each of you in my prayers.

Thank you to everyone for letting us know we are not alone, and you are keeping us in your thoughts and prayers, you bring us comfort during this sad time.

Love, hugs, faith, hope, prayers, and miracles!

Patti and Dean

[bebop]

Patti I am praying for you both. I feel so sad for you and Dean. Please know all our thoughts and prayers are with you. If you were near me I would come be with you during this rough time. Much love and peace hon.

Elaine

[Lifeguard]

Dear Patti, Dean, Bob and Dru,

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. You all have been so inspirational.

Lifeguard

[Sally C]

Dear Patti and Dean,
I am so sorry to hear this news as with Tina and Billy.
I totally agree that you will see your loved ones again. In the meantime I pray for God to comfort you as only He can.
Patti, you know how to contact me. Please do so if there is anything I can do - if even just to lend a shoulder or an ear.
With love, prayers and (((hugs))),
Sally

[rkp]

Dear Patti and Dean,
Wish you strength and comfort during this difficult time.

-RP

[Lbrown]

Thinking of you guys.

Deb

[bebop]

Patti I have had you and Dean on my mind today. I am praying for you both.

Elaine

[PattiDean]

Thank you so very much for your continued support and prayers.

Dean is still at Hospice, and the last two days have been so hard to watch. When Dean was first admitted on Thursday, he was very weak, but we were able to talk, mostly about how strong he has been through all of this, and our lives together over the last 23 years. We have been married 13 years, but have known each other since 1990.

Saturday night Dean began hallucinating, trying to get out of bed, telling me to leave him alone, etc., He was sleeping for short periods, then waking up and fighting with people or things that weren't there.

Yesterday he became more confused, he took off his hospital gown, won't let anyone put it back on, said there were cats in his bed, wanted to get up and fix the nail in the wall, etc. He has no idea who I am.

The nurses say he is possibly having small bleeds in his brain, because he probably has no more platelets. Ten days ago, at his final labs, his platelets were 8. Around Dean's eyes, the skin is a deep purple, and he has black bruises all over his arms, and neck now.

I hope it will be over soon. This is so difficult to watch. Even with all the medication, he is not sleeping, just for short periods, then he tries to get up and out of bed. I can't leave his room, when I have to use the restroom, I need to ask the nurse to stay with him. Tonight there is a volunteer that is with him. The nurses at hospice told me to go home for a few hours and rest, but I can't sleep.

I am physically and emotionally exhausted, I try to stay at Hospice constantly, but it has been five days now and I needed to come home tonight, although I can't sleep and will be going back to Hospice in a little while. As many of you know I have no family members, I am alone, that is making this even more difficult. I feel so alone right now.

Thank you for letting me write this post. I haven't slept all night I just don't know what else to do.

[SLB]

Patti, my heart hurts for you and Dean. Your strength, love and fight have been inspirational! Thank you for sharing your journey with us all. Thinking and praying for you.

[Cheryl C]

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Patti and Dean, Dru and Bob.

[MagicBob]

Thank you so very much for your continued support and prayers.

Dean is still at Hospice, and the last two days have been so hard to watch. When Dean was first admitted on Thursday, he was very weak, but we were able to talk, mostly about how strong he has been through all of this, and our lives together over the last 23 years. We have been married 13 years, but have known each other since 1990.

Saturday night Dean began hallucinating, trying to get out of bed, telling me to leave him alone, etc., He was sleeping for short periods, then waking up and fighting with people or things that weren't there.

Yesterday he became more confused, he took off his hospital gown, won't let anyone put it back on, said there were cats in his bed, wanted to get up and fix the nail in the wall, etc. He has no idea who I am.

The nurses say he is possibly having small bleeds in his brain, because he probably has no more platelets. Ten days ago, at his final labs, his platelets were 8. Around Dean's eyes, the skin is a deep purple, and he has black bruises all over his arms, and neck now.

I hope it will be over soon. This is so difficult to watch. Even with all the medication, he is not sleeping, just for short periods, then he tries to get up and out of bed. I can't leave his room, when I have to use the restroom, I need to ask the nurse to stay with him. Tonight there is a volunteer that is with him. The nurses at hospice told me to go home for a few hours and rest, but I can't sleep.

I am physically and emotionally exhausted, I try to stay at Hospice constantly, but it has been five days now and I needed to come home tonight, although I can't sleep and will be going back to Hospice in a little while. As many of you know I have no family members, I am alone, that is making this even more difficult. I feel so alone right now.

Thank you for letting me write this post. I haven't slept all night I just don't know what else to do.

Hi Patti and Dean,

Patti, you have been there all the way for Dean, and as a group we are with you and with our arms wrapped around you both.

Stay close and keep us up to date.

Our Love, Prayers, Hugs, and Care,

Dru and Bob MagicBob

[Sally C]

Dear Patti,
How I wish I was closer to be there with you. As MagicBob said, we are all collectively with you although I know that's not the same as being physically there. I pray for you both every day and hope that this will soon be over for you and Dean.
God love, bless, and comfort you as only He can.
Sally

[Honeybun]

Dear Patti

I hope the hospice gives you some contacts for grief counselling and other help during this time. No one should be alone Patti. I hope you have a neighbour or friend who can be there with you and make sure you are ok. Some of us don't think straight when we are tired and emotional, you need support for all your going through.

Thinking of you

Honey

[susanML]

Hi Patti and Dean,

Patti, you have been there all the way for Dean, and as a group we are with you and with our arms wrapped around you both.

Stay close and keep us up to date.

Our Love, Prayers, Hugs, and Care,

Dru and Bob MagicBob

My heart aches for you- I wish there was something I could do for you or say that would make things better. Please believe that God is there watching over you and Dean -

[bebop]

I wish I could just put my arms around you right now and give you comfort. You do need to take a little time for yourself hon. I know that is much easier said than done though. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Elaine

[DebS]

Patti,

I agree with all of the others. I so wish I could give you a hug. Know that you have tons of virtual hugs here.

God Bless you my dear!

Deb

[LizR]

Patti -

Here's a hug from us. I can only hope to have your grace in the months and years to come.

[PattiDean]

You fought your sixteen month battle against Myelodyspastic Syndrome (MDS) with courage, strength and dignity. Only those going through this fight will understand how difficult it was. No more needles, chemo, transfusions, doctor visits, hospitals. Like you said at your last transfusion "I don't have to do this anymore"! You were so brave!



Dean I. Darby
Febuary 1, 1937 - September 30, 2013


I always knew the time would come when we would say 'goodbye'.
It came so soon, my heart is sad, it seems like we just said 'Hi'.

The times we shared now have a place, so special in my heart.
The memories, the laughs and tears, all from the very start.

I care so very much for you, the feelings just won't end.
My love, my life, my husband, my dearest and best friend.

They say it's a beautiful journey from the old world to the new
Someday I'll make that journey which will lead me straight to you

And when we reach that garden in which there is no pain
I'll put my arms around you and we'll never part again

If I listen really close when I am now alone at night
I'll hear your voice comfort me and say that you are alright

It isn't easy to understand why certain things must be
And the reasons why they happen are so often hard to see

But I will find comfort in the knowledge that God is always there
To keep the one I loved so much forever in His care

You gave me many things in life, gifts both great and small
But most of all you gave me love and that's the greatest gift of all


I Will Love You Forever, Patti

[gramous]

Hello Patti,

Dean is now in peace. You are both an exemple of courage for this forum. You are right when you said that it's so difficult to say goodbye but Dean's mind is always with you. A lot of hugs and courage, take care of you. Friendly regards, béné

[Honeybun]

Dear Patti

I am sad to hear the news. My deepest sympathies to you Patti. May Dean finally find peace as well as yourself. Please take care of your self and get what ever help you need to get you through this time.

What a beautiful poem and a lovely picture of Dean.

Big hugs

Honey

[Sally C]

My Dear Patti,
As many have said - your grace, courage, and dignity has shown through all these difficult months. And all the while you have reached out to others with your unending concern and compassion. You and Dean have been an example to all.
I am thankful that Dean is now at peace with his Heavenly Father. I know he will be looking over you in the days ahead.
Take good care of yourself. You have been Dean's angel on earth. And Honey is right - what a beautiful, appropriate poem - and wonderful picture of Dean. So handsome...
With love, prayers and (((hugs)))
God Bless and comfort you,
Sally

[DebS]

Patti,

What a beautiful tribute to your beloved Dean. It is so true that he is no longer suffering and is at peace.

May God wrap his arms around you and comfort you now in your time of need.

The strength and dignity you and Dean have shown is such a wonderful and inspirational example for all of us.

Deb

[rkp]

Dear Patti,
Very sorry to hear this news.Dean fought a hard and courageous battle.
May you find peace ,comfort and strength to bear this loss.Take care of yourself and as Honey has suggested please get help in this difficult time.
-RP

[Neil Cuadra]

Dean was a hero to all of us. Patti, you are still a hero to all of us. You've shown us how far love and inner strength can carry you. I hope you continue to feel Dean's presence and the love he gave you back every day. You have my sympathies for a loss that can't be measured.

[Lbrown]

Patti,

I'm so sorry to hear about Dean. Lovely poem and photo, thanks for posting.

Deb

[mausmish]

Patti, my heart aches for you. May you find some peace in good memories of your time together. Karen

[Al's Wife]

Patti,

Words are so inadequate at a time like this. My heart is so heavy and I wish I were closer to try and help comfort you. Please know you will be in my thoughts and prayers and I know Dean would want you to know that you were a wonderful wife, friend and caregiver.
God bless you and please stay in touch.

[edithr]

Patti,

I'm so very sorry for your loss, my sympathies are with you and your loved ones. I hope in time you'll come back to visit us here, if it isn't too painful for you.

I have to go reread my book, The Fall of Freddie the Leaf. It was given to me when my mom died, and I have read it probably a hundred times. It's one of those books that has layers and layers of meanings, and even though I cry when I read it, it gives me a good feeling inside at the same time.

[Lifeguard]

Dear Patti,

I am so sorry for your loss. Your poem is beautiful and the photo of Dean is lovely. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Rachael

[Honeybun]

Dear Patti

Tonight is the Light the Night event here in Perth. I will carry a lantern for Dean for you, as well as my own on the walk.

Honey

[MagicBob]

You fought your sixteen month battle against Myelodyspastic Syndrome (MDS) with courage, strength and dignity. Only those going through this fight will understand how difficult it was. No more needles, chemo, transfusions, doctor visits, hospitals. Like you said at your last transfusion "I don't have to do this anymore"! You were so brave!



Dean I. Darby
Febuary 1, 1937 - September 30, 2013


I always knew the time would come when we would say 'goodbye'.
It came so soon, my heart is sad, it seems like we just said 'Hi'.

The times we shared now have a place, so special in my heart.
The memories, the laughs and tears, all from the very start.

I care so very much for you, the feelings just won't end.
My love, my life, my husband, my dearest and best friend.

They say it's a beautiful journey from the old world to the new
Someday I'll make that journey which will lead me straight to you

And when we reach that garden in which there is no pain
I'll put my arms around you and we'll never part again

If I listen really close when I am now alone at night
I'll hear your voice comfort me and say that you are alright

It isn't easy to understand why certain things must be
And the reasons why they happen are so often hard to see

But I will find comfort in the knowledge that God is always there
To keep the one I loved so much forever in His care

You gave me many things in life, gifts both great and small
But most of all you gave me love and that's the greatest gift of all


I Will Love You Forever, Patti


Patti, we had been dreading this news and still don't have the words to help ease your pain.

Dru and I offer our sympathy, our love and prayers.

Also here is our email, we would love to communicate with you personally from time to time: drubob63@verizon.net

Dru and Bob MagicBob

[bebop]

Patti my thoughts and prayers are with you during this very rough time. I am so sorry to hear about Dean. Today he is completely healed! I hope you have some good friends around you. Much love and peace hon.

Elaine

[PattiDean]

It is very early in the morning, and I am unable to sleep.


I do wish I could thank each of you in person for your kind and supportive words, your expressions of sympathy, and your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time for me.

I cannot find the words to express my feelings for your love and support.

Each of you are helping me get through this and giving me great comfort. I hope you know how much it means to me.

As always, sending my love, hugs, faith, hope, prayers and a little laughter each day.

Patti


Also, yesterday I found out that my cousin's husband has just been diagnosed with MDS. It doesn't seem possible.

[curlygirl]

I'm sorry for your loss, Patti, God bless.

[DanL]

Patti,

I just wanted to express my condolences. The persistence, patiences, and fortitude that you and Dean showed us were inspiring.

[Al's Wife]

Patti,

When I lost my mother to heart problems years ago, I found it helpful to write to her. Even though I could talk to her in my heart and mind, it seemed more real when I put it down on paper. So in those lonely hours at night when you can't sleep and you want to talk with Dean, you might try writing him a letter and telling him your feelings.
I hope as time passes that you will get involved in some activities and stay busy. You have spent so much time in the last few years taking care of your mom and then Dean that I know you are at a loss now. But you have so much to offer and have been such an inspiration to so many of us when we have been down, that I know you could offer a lot to others, if you feel so inclined.
Just know that there are a lot of us praying for you during this most difficult of times.
Peace,

[Mseth]

Dear Patti, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure you are going to continue to be as brave as you have been through the MDS journey with Dean.

[Honeybun]

Al's wife, I agree with your suggestion. When my Dad passed I had a journal that I wrote to him in. I found it helped to pour out my emotions.

Honey

[maria&lola]

Patti--I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't check in as much as I once did but was sad to see this news today. God bless you and keep you. Maria

[Darice]

Dear Patti
I am so sorry for your loss. I haven't posted much lately, but I have read and strongly identified with your journey (Jens and I have been married 13 years, together for 23, and he, too, is a strong fighter). I wish I could give you a hug and some comfort more than these words offer . . . I'm certain we all wish that. Just know that someone else, who has walked/is walking in your shoes, offers you love, strength, and comfort.
Darice

[Cheryl C]

Dear Patti and Dean, Dru and MagicBob - like your other Marrowforums friends my heart aches to hear this news. My thoughts and prayers are with you too.

[PattiDean]

Sorry I haven't been on the forum for a few days, but there is so very much that has to be done. I have been reading all of your comments for the last hour.

I so wish I could thank each of you in person for your kind and supportive words, your expressions of sympathy, and your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time for me.

I cannot find the words to express my feelings for the love and support you have given to me.

Each of you are helping me get through this and giving me great comfort. I hope you know how much it means to me.

Sending my love, hugs, faith, hope and prayers,

Patti

[bebop]

Hi Patti and Dean,

Dru and I are ever so sorry for you both, and we find it very difficult to find words of comfort as we have been following each others paths.

I didn't want to make this another coincidence but I guess God wants us to meet each other, and celebrate our 77th birthday with Him.

My doctor stop treating me on Monday, and he strongly suggested Hospice, and since this past Wednesday I am under their care.

Give Dean a big hug from us, and will talk with you later; this has been an
awfully tough week.

OUR LOVE, PRAYERS, HUGS AND COMFORT,

Dru and Bob MagicBob

thinking about you guys tonight. how are you doing? I am praying for you both.
Elaine

[Cheryl C]

My deepest sympathy Patti. I pray that you will experience comfort and peace. Like you I believe you will see your beloved Dean again one day.

[PattiDean]

Dear Patti

Tonight is the Light the Night event here in Perth. I will carry a lantern for Dean for you, as well as my own on the walk.

Honey

Honey, I was just reading over all the posts again. The last two weeks have been so very difficult, but time is making it easier.

I saw this post and am so sorry that I didn't get a chance to "thank you". This has touched my heart. Thank you so very much Honey for your beautiful poem and for carrying a lantern for Dean.

Patti

[Honeybun]

Dear Patti

There are pictures of the walk in one of my threads. I did ask for one of the easier to collapse ones in case you would like me to send it to you. The lovely organisers were very obliging when I told them who it was for. They have a handle instead of being on a stick, so can be hung up. The lanterns are made of fabric not paper. If you would like it just pm me your address and I will post it off to you.

Honey