[anne&dean]

Hi all,
Thank you so much for your hope and prayers. Yes coming home was the best thing we could have done. The only problem we have is most of my husbands family lives about 4 hours away, and the last two days has been like a wake (THIS WAS MY HUSBANDS WORDS)! We have had so much company and with the different people coming in from hospic, neither of us are getting any rest. Hopefully today will be different! It is hard to tell people after they have driven 4 hours that they need to go after about 30 minutes. But after yesterday , I plan to do exactly this.
Deans emotions are very raw, and hopefully we will be getting meds from hospic to help control this today, or help some.
He has never complained of pain but last nite he said he was hurting in the upper part of his stomach where the uclers are. I gave him a stomach pill, he said it was a little better, we went to bed both of us completely exhausted at 9:30, Dean was back up at 11:30, he didn't wake me up so I did not know he was hurting. I woke at 2:30 am and found him sitting in his recliner, and he told me his stomach was hurting. I started to give him some of the liquid morphine last nite, but his daughter disagreed with me and said he will be alright. Dean never complains of pain, when he had his by pass surgeries , he took very little pain meds, I should have listened to myself, I know him better than anyone after 24 years together.
His feet are swelling so bad, he wanted to try putting on the elastic stockings we had for him from several years ago, gee had forgot how hard those things are to get on.
Well I gave him the small dose of the liquid morphine, a stomach pill and put the stockings on, got him back in bed at 4am and he is resting now.
From now on I will go with my instincts and not listen to anyone else!
He has slept very little this week, due to inability to relax, and been very emotional, which is expected. We are suppose to be getting a package from Hospic today with a medication called ativan, they say it will help with the anxiety.
He is already taking a sleeping pill at nite and a .5 of xanx. it was 2.5 but the nurse changed it yesterday. He takes the xanx in the morning after meals too.
He says he has enjoyed the company but after 30 minutes, he is ready for them to leave, he is so caring and tender hearted that he want say anything to them, so guess I will have to be the bad guy. I am going to put a sign on door saying please limit visiting to 30 minutes.
Will call nurse today and tell her about the stomach pain, this is the same pain that he had with the bleeding uclers as far as I can tell, think they must be getting worse. His nose started bleeding some yesterday, so I know his platelets are down.
At least he is resting now and I feel better.
Love
Anne