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Ellie,
I understand how difficulty this is for you and your family. I'm very glad to hear that your father is able to tell you what's going on and especially that he isn't agitated, but of course you wouldn't want him to simply give up. It's unlikely that doctors will recommend aggressive treatment for an 84-year-old, but there may still be choices about how to boost his strength, lessen symptoms, and help with his mental and physical comfort.
Perhaps he doesn't want to worry you and is underplaying his concerns. Sometimes parents still want to protect "the kids" even as adults. I'll bet he's very much looking forward to your visit and that it will boost his spirits.
Do you think it would be helpful if you spoke to his doctor ahead of time, by phone or when you go to visit, to get a first-hand report of his status and prognosis? It's hard for anyone to understand and keep track of complicated health problems, let alone an 84-year patient who sometimes get confused.
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