[donna j.]

.Dear Sunshine,
I agree with you regarding Greg's advice. Beautiful and right on the money. I was diagnosed with MDS in July following a sailboat race, which we had just won on the weekend. No more racing, no sunshine, no alcohol, no crowded Yacht club parties. So for the next few months as I met with oncologists and had cbc's on a regular basis and had my first of several transfusions, my husband continued our previous lifestyle. It was strange, because it was what we did, and if i died, it was what he would do, but I couldn't understand if he understood the gravity of my situation or not. He changed overnight about 2 weeks ago. He wants to go to the dr with me and limits his socializing. I think we all handle this shock differently, and on a different schedule. .
When I am feeling good, I am out and about, with necessary precautions as I have low white cells and red and platelents, and I feel I will be able to manage this illness. When I don't feel so well, and it never seems to coincide with my CBC numbers, I think alot about dying, and making necessary plans for wills and directives. Sometimes I share a little, but mostly I don't. [i] don't sleep at night, trying to wrap my brain around all this. So for me, my feelings of mortality and depression are tied directly to if I feel weak, my gums are bleeding, or I have strange aches and pains. I do however, have a new found appreciation for my body and the assaults it can handle, whether the result of the disease, or testing or treatment for the disease.

So as I said in the beginning, Greg has wonderful advice, and your father is lucky to have you. My one mantra is "why don't I have a daughter?" You and your sister will make his life so much more kinder and gentler for him.
Donna