[pinebluff]

Dad (83) finished Vidaza in Sept. The doctor gave him a 50% chance of surviving for 6 months and told me not to hold out much hope. He is in hospice now after little improvement in the WBC (1,400) and plts (29,000). I feel so confused and alone here trying to cope with the uncertainty and questions that I have. Particularly, when the doctors are so vague and unhelpful! When I asked him what a person who has MDS dies 'from', he said 'weakness'. (Huh?) For example, several months ago dad was falling on a daily basis; he was so weak that he could barely walk. He also lost a lot of weight, had no appetite and nausea. But, for the past month he has slowly begun to improve and gain strength to the point of walking short distances unassisted and getting an appetite again. This is wonderful! It also brings another dilemma: stay here as dad's sole caregiver away from my husband and family, which I've done for the past 6 months, or consider relocating him to our home? I'm not expecting anyone to give me that answer, but I would be so interested to hear from those of you who have had similar experiences to mine. I want to be completely realistic - expect the best and prepare for the worst. Sometimes I wonder if this is something like the final bloom.... so sad! The only health problems he's having at the moment is a recurrent staph infection that pops up as abscesses that are very resistant to antibiotics.