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Welcome Annettec, sorry you have to join us.
Cruise....✅
Infected feeding tube...✅
Chest infection....✅
Sinus infection......✅
Great time anyway......✅✅✅✅✅
I saw the surgeon today who changed my feeding tube for a new one, I was dreading it but before I even knew it was done the old one was out and the new one was in....just some bleeding from the stoma. He's placed a bit of pressure on me to commit to a surgery date. I haven't even had the courage to tell my physician I'm considering (well, I told him I'm considering it but made it seem like sometime in the distant future) stopping treatment so I couldn't tell the surgeon I wouldn't be having surgery because I may not be around to need it! Ive already missed one lot of treatment without any one creating dramas so I may be able to procrastinate a while longer. I'm already feeling the effects with the minor infections and now I've developed a constant low grade fever.
I'll start this next part by saying that I DO love my parents.
I had a visit from my father today who became very angry with me for not having treatment. He stormed out in a rage. I would normally feel bad for him but I just can't feel anything. How selfish of me! I wish I could feel some compassion for him but somehow it's just gone and now when I look at him there is just emptiness........
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