Krista,
I just wanted to say that I DO understand how you feel. I've been there,too. I was diagnosed in May 2003 had ATG/Cyclosporine in June 2003 and have been in complete remission ever since. Stopped all medications in Nov of 2004. So I've been "back to normal" for 3 years. It's really a choice and I choose to live my life as before AA came calling. I don't think about the what if's. No..I don't know what is in the future..how long will the remission last...etc..etc..etc..I don't define myself by the AA..that's my choice. I know that other people don't get it..you look fine, you seem fine and most people don't even know what your bone marrow does or blood count numbers, etc..You don't say what your counts are now or if you are in remission..Death is not something you should be concentrating on ,for sure. You will have plenty of treatment options before that becomes a concern. A positive attitude and destressing yourself will help tremendously. Stress suppresses the immune system. Take a deep breath,try to live your best life,and be hopeful and positive.Take your power back over this and be strong.Feel free to email me at
Jbsx19@aol.com and I'll give you my number if you feel like talking.Hope that I've helped in some small way.
Hang in there.... Judi