[mannythedog]

Hello all, and thank you for the kind replies.

In response to my Australian friend, Chirley, yes it was tough, but your right in saying it was not as tough as it could have been. Mom, My sisters Sue & Lisa, My wife and I had been, physically, around Pop during the last year and 4 months. The doctor stated last he was going to die last Christmas, so we had a little time to prepare with Pop.

He took the extra time and wrote all of us letters to read "after the fact." That is what he wrote on the envelope. Always the jolly, joker. One of his written statements to me, and It makes me think he knew I was going to talk his ear off his last days when he could not talk, was write "So, now I DO get the last word." It was a 7 page letter, that was unexpected, but very needed. And yes, at our family good bye, I did say I was getting the last word and I could not believe it. Well, he got me again. I'll let him have this one.

My mother has not had time to decompress yet. We had Christmas together and a memorial dinner for Pop. My niece sent a beautiful candle arrangement for Pop, and we put it at his spot. Mom lit it and said a few things. That's when it really hit me, for two reasons. First, I always sat opposite of Pop and all I saw behind the candle was my reflection in the window, and second, It is now my responsibility to say the blessing at mom's house when I am there. Belle left the table and cried with my wife. My mother got her to stop so she could go and eat. Mom is one tough cookie.

Most of the family left today; however, my sister sue is still there through the end of next week. She is a teacher, and has some time off. My family unit, and my local sisters unit left her alone today. My family did things with my wifes family. Her parents came down from Ohio to keep things as normal as possible for the kids.

Mom is a strong woman, but has never lived alone in the 55 years she was married to Pop. Yes, Angie and I are up the driveway; however, I read her as seeing this as a new adventure. She has always been the one to want to try new things; furthermore, she stated that now she can hold the remote for the TV. Now that is a fact.

If you all would like, I will keep writing about mom for a while. I will also freely answer any questions any of you care givers may have pertaining to the uncontrollable emotional and hospice related care issues. Not that Hospice was an issue, the patient is the issue. I will also answer questions for you, the patient, when all treatments have failed.

I understand I was only one of the caregivers, but there are things that happen during the last months and questions arise that many people do not have answers for. That is why I came here to Marrowforums. To get info for the progression and eventual end. There was not a site that had this type of information, this one included. We knew from the start Pop was not going to be cured, just managed, so he agreed to let me document it for all to see.

So much happened in the last 2 months, so many things I never thought were never in pop's nature that I did not write do to the sensitive nature, so if needed, please just ask. Pop wanted me to address any questions about him you may have that can help any of you that need it to along a little easier.

Once again, Thank you all for your prayers and caring. Pop was a special person, and he left a hole in my heart bigger than I thought he would. Your thoughts and kind words help more than you know.

Take me up on Pop's offer. I will keep checking in.

Scott

SON OF BOB