[milliken2]

Hello All;

Well - Earl continues to lose weight and muscle mass. He is just finishing his 5th session of Vidaza, and as far as I can see - it is not doing a thing. This week, alone, he got one unit of PRBC's and 2 units of platelets. Tuesday - Christmas Day - he was back at the hospital for an additional unit of PRBC's. Wednesday, he only got chemo - but yesterday, he got 2 more units of PRBC's and one unit of platelets, and today, he got another 2 units of platelets - his platelet count was only 4. He has no energy, and his bones hurt all the time. Too - the appetite is not there. The marinol didn't do a thing, and so far - I can't see where the Megace is doing any better. I am watching him die in front of me, and not able to do a thing. It is so hard- just seeing him wither away, and not be able to help him.
I am letting the decision up to him - whether to continue treatment or not. He has no quality of life, and I don't want him to suffer - just because he doesn't want to leave me alone. I will be crushed when the end comes, but I also don't want him to linger on.
I hope you don't think bad of me - but I love him too much to let this continue.

Beth