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Old Thu Mar 1, 2012, 09:42 AM
evansmom evansmom is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 203
Hi Chris,

I agree with Neil completely. While Ethan's feeling and emotions are very important and need to be handled with care and love, you will need to give him clear direction as to what your expectations are. He is in a position to save his sister's life and while you never would have chosen this road for him, you also would have never chosen the far worse road that is ahead of Kira. He will be asleep for the donation process so he only needs to be prepared for the neeedle pokes and/or IV start. The discomfort or outright pain he may have in the days to follow can be treated with pain meds and really it's a small price to pay for saving his sister's life. I'd hype up the positive, get him a personalized "HERO" t-shirt, etc. I'd leave the details of the pain and discomfort out for now and if he asks, down play it. The worse thing that will happen is that he'll wake up in pain and be mad that you didn't tell him. The fact, however that his donation will be done and over with will far outshadow his frustration or anger.
I think it is the wrong approach for the doctor to put the weight of such a decision on a nine year old's shoulders. You have made the decision for him and that is that. It is what it is and what must be done will be done.

Best wishes, both kids will do just fine!
__________________
Nicole, mom to Evan (20); diagnosed SAA November 2007, hATG mid-November 2007, no response after 6 months, unrelated 9/10 BMT June 2008, no GVH, health completely restored thanks to our beloved donor Bryan from Tennessee.

www.caringbridge.org/visit/evanmacneil
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