[koyotekathy]

We have all been where you are now, the only difference is the varying types of MDS/AA we or our spouses may have. There was little tact when we were first told. The doc had been playing the "wait and see" thing for several years, but I had been keeping Paul's blood test reports on a spread sheet and could see them declining. After we saw the hematologist and got the news that Paul had MDS, our doc announced this by declaring Paul should have been dead twice over by that time.

Turns out the original diagnosis was not correct. It is now three years later and after reading everything we could find and attending the Foundations wonderful annual meetings, we asked for a true second opinion (meaning completely new blood and bone marrow testing). The outcome is that Paul has a much milder form of MDS - RARS, and could coast along for the rest of his life (he's 69 now) or for at least 5 to 10 more years, with no deterioration in his condition.

The good thing (if you want to call it that) that came out of the original shock was that we immediately took stock of our total life situtation and took care of many things that we had let just coast along for another day. We also value each day far more than we did before. When you think about it, the only difference between those who know their diagnosis and have to acknowledge we are not immortal, and the rest who still have not considered their own demise, is that we got a wake up call so we wouldn't waste time on things that don't matter. This situation can draw you and your wife so much closer, so please don't leave her out.

Best wishes from Arizona.