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Marcus,
You have good reason to feel shocked. With your life going great and a baby on the way, it's hard to accept an MDS diagnosis. There will always be somebody worse off, so don't feel embarrassed for asking about a "less serious" case. All MDS cases are serious, and perhaps we can help you.
Once you tell your wife, she'll be part of your support team, and you'll need that. It's hard to overestimate how important the help of your family can be. Doesn't she already sense that you are worried about something? It may soften the shock for your family if you can explain the basic treatment choices and who will be treating you. When it comes to confidence and optimism, people will take their cue from you.
Let's hope that your brother gets tested and is found to match you. The initial search of the bone marrow registry shouldn't take long. Sometimes people of differing backgrounds turn out to be matches.
My wife and I also read survival statistics right after her diagnosis. It was almost all bad news, and very scary. Only later did we realize that things weren't quite that dire. Many of the reports were for only a few patients, not a big enough population to base predictions on. Every patient is unique in some way, and none of the case studies were for patients matching my wife's age, condition, and general health. Finally, most of the studies were a few years old (some up to a decade old) and the advances in treatment had made leaps since those reports were published. I understand the urge to look for survival statistics, but it's very hard to find information that applies to you. I think that finding the best MDS doctors and studying treatment choices should be the priority.
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