[evansmom]

Hi there.

My husband and I were in the final stages of testing and preparing for IVF with PGD when suddenly my son's counts, which had been looking promising after ATG, crashed and we had no choice but to go to unrelated bone marrow transplant. A matched sibling was going to be our 'ace in our pocket'. We had believed that Evan was showing a response to ATG and was headed for remission, but because we knew a relapse could happen, we would be prepared to rescue him with his sibling's cord blood or even bone marrow if the relapse was further in the future. While we did put very serious thought into going this route, it really was a no-brainer for us. A new baby to love, one whom we were more than capable of giving a good life to, and some protection for Evan. We knew we'd have no problem telling this child when he or she was old enough the circumstances under which they were conceived, and explaining how it was that they were born a hero.
We were dealing with an IVF clinic in Toronto that was willing to collaborate with Genesis Genetics in Detroit, who was in the process of preparing the genetic probe that would identify Evan's HLA. All of that was put on hold.

Not an easy decision by any means, we had to consider how much more difficult it would be if Evan relapsed while I was pregnant with his hero. Would our decision to hold off treatment until the cord blood was available have a detrimental effect on Evan? If Evan couldn't wait for his sibling, how difficult would it be to care for Evan in hospital while I was pregnant? What if I had complications with the pregnancy, perhaps requiring bedrest, and this would prevent me from being with my son in hospital and so on.

So you have to visit all of these scenerios in your mind and make your decisions based on medical advice, common sense and mother's instinct. Do what feels right for you.

Best wishes,