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I am sorry you have to go through this.
There are no stats or surveys regarding quality of life that I could find.
This was a big question for me and a lot of others contemplating transplants.
I think its a somewhat subjective question as some might consider some ailments as acceptable and others not.
I get the impression that gvhd is a big concern of yours and rightfully so but 50% of those undergoing transplant get some form of it but that doesn't mean it wont go away. Your son is in an age group much different than what we are used to seeing on here so it might help to find support from those with a similar scenario as yours. Younger patients seem to do much better. There's a BMT group on facebook that might be of help. The conflicting info you receive from different doctors is a challenge. I wish it was easier for you.
All the Best
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