[Krista]

Hi, my name is Krista and I'm so very happy to have found this site today! I live in Columbus, Oh and was diagnosed a year ago this month. I am 21 and in my junior year of college. I must begin with honesty: I am terrified. I was doing quite well and responded to all treatments that were given last fall (ATG with cyclosporine) and have been on cyclosporine ever since. I know this must be all so normal to all of you, something you've gained an understanding of, but I haven't quite gotten there yet. I have done a lot of crying this week because I found bruises on my leg for the first time since I was last treated, and demanded a blood test. My platelets dropped to 24 since a few weeks ago when they were 134. I don't have an appointment with my hematologist until friday, which leaves me sick with worry about his decision. He didn't even schedule a blood test, just an appointment, which makes me think he knows his decision and isn't concerned. I am very worried, because I can already tell I'm in trouble and in need of serious medical care. The nurses said he didn't seem too worried about the situation, and I think my mother is trying to take her cues from them. Oh, I am so tired of the uncertainty. I feel like I am just waiting for the day they have to admit me again. I feel very isolated, just now. I know I'm very lucky to have done so well so far, but don't want to miss out on any more school. I don't know if I should be making arrangements for a hospital stay or not. And I'm worried that if I don't go know I will have to soon. I'm so sorry for going on like this, but I'm frightened. I'd love to hear from anybody who understands what I'm going through. I could use some help. Thanks!!