My Mother, being the awesome lady that she was always worried about me. She never wanted to become a "burden" to me. Which was so far from the way I felt. It was tough at times juggling work, my kids and the daily ups and downs Mom and I went through throughout this disease. I have no regrets through it all. I would still be there by her side if she were still here with me. She was my best friend and an awesome Mom. My parents live with me. It is still so new and it is not easy at all for my Dad. They were married 57 years. His health is bad. To shorten this story.. I was adopted when I was 3 weeks old. There was a reason my parents and I were brought together. They loved me, Mom was with me always, she was there for the birth of my kids. I promised her that night in the hospital that I would always be by her side. I kept that promise. We were together until the end. The morning she passed away I heard her call for me. She had fallen again and God gave her the strength to holler out my name. I picked her up, I helped to the bathroom, sat her down in here chair in her room. We talked for about 20 minutes before she started into a coma we told each other we loved each other. She knew, I knew what was happening and that there wasn't anything to do to stop it this time. She had had bleeding in the brain before, but when she fell and hit her head by the time she said she was in pain the bleeding had evidently become so massive that it caused a mid-line shift. I talked to my Mom the entire time in the ER and never left her side. I knew she had finally gone into a complete coma but I wanted her to hear my voice and for her to know I was ok and I would take care of everyone. It was time for her to go home. And that is what she did. Throughout everything that day everyone from the ambulance crew to the ER to all her doctors. They were the reason we were fortunate to have my Mother for 21 months after being diagnosed. And for that I will always be greatful.
Being the caregiver can be stressful at times because you feel so helpless. But I would do it all over again. I miss my Mother so much. It has only been 2 months but she truly was a beautiful lady and stronger than I think I could ever be. I would always tell her as I grew up and had a family of my own, that when I "grew up" I wanted to be just like her. I am told that all the feelings that I am feeling are normal, but I would give anything to have her here to talk to. Although that is selfish of me and I do know she is in a better place without pain and not suffering. She is probably thinking come on Beth get yourself together we will see each other again and I am with you always. It is just so hard sometimes... Thank you for listening to my rambling. God bless everyone that has this disease and their families. It's tough, but they are so strong and brave and may not even realize it.
Beth, daughter of Mary age 75; diagnosed MDS Oct. 2005. Just recently passed away; 21 months after being diagnosed and treated. She was truly an amazing woman who never gave up and never questioned why.