[katherineann59]

Hi Paul,
My thoughts and prayers are with you! I was diagnosed 3 years ago, but the oncologists says I have had the disease for 8 years, so I went 5 years before the diagnosis. I had several docs wonder about my blood counts - I was always anemic, my white blood counts caused some concern and my platelets were often low, but the docs blamed this on my polycystic kidney disease. I'm happy in a way that I wasn't diagnosed early as I wonder how I would have handled the worry and waiting until the disease had progressed far along to require treatment. It's a strange feeling when your are suddenly faced with your own motality. I used to think more in terms of the future. Now, however, my focus has to be on the here and now. I suppose that's really how everyone should live their lives as we tend to miss so much if we are always looking ahead. Please try and take some comfort in the fact that many of us live "normal" lives with this disease. "Normal" for me means monthly chemo treatments, regular blood tests, and other drugs to maintain my blood counts, but I have lived to see my children become adults and even t o get to know my grandaughter - she turned 2 in September. She was actually born on Sept. 11, and the hospital staff always referred to her as a "miracle baby." Well, she is a major reason I am able to keep going and stay positive. It sounds as though you have a wonderful family from whom you will draw lots of support and positive energy. Try not to think too much about this dreaded disease. I know when I was first diagnosed, I spent a lot of time researching and feeling badly about having a "terminal disease." I am confident you, like all of us here, will find a strength you never dreamed you had. Know that you are not alone in any of the thoughts you have as you cope with this disease and know, too, that you have the support of many, many folks here. Wishing you all the best.
Kathy