Hi Patti
I know exactly where you are. I asked the oncologist last week, is it ok for me to be scared - hubby tells me, you can't be scared yet, we don't know what is going to happen - of course I know that he is scared as well but is being the *man* -
Dr says of course it is....I said, it's one thing when something happens to yourself - you have to deal with it, but when it happens to the person you love, your partner in life, your best friend - it is frightening that all I can do is the best I can to take care of him but I can't take any of this from him, I have to watch - that is the scariest thing that has ever happened to me.
We've been told that we are in a marathon - but the Dr is so good, upfront with us, telling us like it is, he is open as is his team to any questions that have and will come up. We go for Chemo education and a psych consult next week before starting the Dacogen the following week to answer any questions, give us answers to questions we don't know to ask yet..and hopefully help us through this time. I am self employed and right now carrying the load of income for the house - I have not been able to concentrate the past month and just scaping by with what I have had to do...that is rough, because I know I can't get by doing that, I have to buckle down, but it is so hard - I lost it this week as we sat in the chemo clinic while hubby got another 2 units of blood, think maybe it is starting to hit...I try and stay strong, but its hard and terrifying not knowing where we will be in 6 months, 1 yr etc.
Hang in there, and know you have a bunch of good people here that will help with what they know.