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Old Sun Jun 2, 2013, 06:00 PM
Darice Darice is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 91
Dear Kathy

This is so tough, isn't it? My husband had his SCT 5 years ago and we just went out of state to do it . . . worked easiest for us. We were gone just over 2 months and got someone to watch the house and take care of the cats. I had already pretty much quit working due to his health issues, so that wasn't an issue. It all pretty much wiped us out financially, but the rest of it was easier to manage, not having to be 10 places and do 50 things . . . we just concentrated on his health. I didn't have anything else demanding my time/attention.

Since then, we're home and I have all the regular demands . . . and more. He has lots of health problems and my job just keeps getting bigger and harder and more time-consuming. He had the SCT to fix the NHL . . . and three years later here came the tMDS. I can't keep up with everything and I do get to feeling overwhelmed with everything. I have recently really made an effort to start doing things for myself. He supports that and knows it's important for me . . . but he still wants me at his side 24/7. Impossible. I try to be as supportive as I can, but there is a limit. He doesn't want anyone else helping him, and is more comfortable when I am with him or at least in the next room, but that just can't always be so. And I'm NOT a bad wife or caregiver when I'm not at his side 24/7.

You are doing all you can . . . don't beat yourself up. This is a good place to vent; there are lots of caregivers here as well as the actual patients, and we understand. Hang in there . . . and take care of yourself.

Darice
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hubby 73, dx NHL 2001, CNS involvement. SCT (auto) 5/08 [dx UTUC renal pelvis, 2010/surgeries/MMC], MANY recurrences, chemos, surgeries, rad. dx t-MDS 3/11: IPSS 1.5 (Int-2); MDA 11, RCMD trilineage, inc. Fe, ring sideroblasts, 7q del/mono 7 (51.5%), 46,XY,t(6,17)(p22;q25)[4]/45,XY,-7[4]/46,XY[12].
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