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Hi, Hope.
I too tried to do "everything" until I realized that I couldn't keep it up. I had to let myself let some things go. If the house is getting messier and messier, at least it will still be there when you have time for it. Eat off paper plates and throw them out so you don't have dishes to wash.
I'm glad you have family around to help keep up. Just being there for each other helps too. Don't be shy about asking friends and neighbors for help with errands or transportation. They probably want to help but aren't sure how.
I guess we'd all be grouchy if we had to be a patient for months and months, unable to do what we usually do, undergoing a transplant and other treatments, and dealing with the latest after-effects. Neither of you likes the situation, but it should get better. In the meantime you just have to give everyone some slack, and some for yourself too.
You've been worrying about a lot of things. For some, like managing your schedule, you can do something about it. For some, like possible GvH in the future, you can't do very much, so worrying isn't helping. Peter has made it this far so I think you should be optimistic.
It seems counterintuitive, but when you can't find a spare second for weeks and weeks, it's time to force yourself to take time off. It can be short, but you need some time away from it all (with or without family members), to let your head stop spinning. A shopping trip, a movie, a long bath, a bike ride, anything to get away from it all just a bit. You deserve it, and you don't have to wait until November!
Everyone has his or her own approach to coping with the demands of caring for a spouse, but these are my thoughts. I hope they help. Good luck to you and Peter.
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