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George, I had a real problem with alcohol to the point of death, but I beat that 23 years ago.
I look at it this way with the alcohol......."I have a disease that I will die with, but I don't have to die from it". I feel the same way about my MDS. I'm not going to die today or tomorrow, so I just make the absolute very best with every day I have.
You need to get off your "pity pot" and be strong for your partner. Don't you thing for one minute he would not do the same for you, if the rolls were reversed? If you need professional help, GET IT!, but stop blaming yourself and the disease for what's happening, it's not your fault nor your partners. Trust me from experience, "The will of God is, what IS". Acceptance is a virtue, strive to persue it and get help if you need it.
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Dick S, diagnosed Feb. 2008 with MDS. Last BMB April 2016. New diagnosis is CMML stage 1.
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