[Chirley]

Hi Linda and Laura.

I'll come clean, I also am a nurse. I tried to cover this up because I have worked in Infection Management and ancillary services for so long, I haven't kept up with everything that goes on. My scope of knowledge is very restricted and if you say you're a nurse you're expected to know what people are talking about health wise. I have basically been doing data collection, wound surveillance and assistance with research projects. It's left me out of the loop with a lot of things.

I find it interesting that there a number of nurses here. ?? why??. My boss of 20 years the doctor in charge of the dept has just been diagnosed with Acute Myelomonocytic Leukaemia. One of his practice partners died about 5 years ago from leukaemia. Perhaps we all come into contact with something toxic. In my case I also worked in a nuclear medicine facility in the early 80s and used to inject the radio isotopes patient after patient. We weren't issued with any radiation counters or protective clothing and I think that's where my problem started. A previous haem I went to agreed with me but said he would not commit that to paper or repeat that to anyone outside that room.

Yes, as for work. I became so exhausted I think I was becoming a danger to others. I didn't think that at the time, this is in hindsight. I was so tired I could quite easily have entered data incorrectly and skewed research results or missed signs of potential disease progression etc.

My main problem was that I reduced my hours due to fatigue and then because I was part time, I was not given priority to work the shifts that I needed to have my transfusions. I would come to work and the roster would have been changed to accomodate the full time staff. And besides disclosing my personal medical information to the other staff members there was no way I was going to get the shifts that I needed. I was also very concerned about working so closely with infectious patients when I had severe neutropenia. I was always worried.

Now that I have stopped work, I can't say that I don't get tired, I do, BUT I don't have to drag myself to work. I can rest. It feels decadent and I don't regret giving up work one bit.

My haematologist believes that working is good for you mentally and physically and wasn't totally behind my decision to leave work. My GP was the one who supported me in that decision. Now that my neutrophils are almost non existent and my disease has progressed, the haematologist wants me to apply for total and permanent disability but I'm happy living on my income protection insurance payments. I have no mortgage, savings in the bank and a weekly income. Why would I want to give up the weekly income for a lesser 2 weekly pension??

This is your decision to make, it's not an easy one, it depends on your individual circumstances. As someone on this forum said to me ..it's not giving in, it's looking after yourself...

Best of luck.