[StuM]

StuM ATG experience Part 2

So how do I feel. Overwhelmed, scared, in and out of control at the same time, blessed to have a wonderful, supportive wife and so many wonderful friends and family to encourage me along and fortunate to have an exceptional medical team guiding and watching out for me. It's an emotional roller-coaster. I know we should never simply let our counts or numbers rule our outlook or emotions, but I sure do scrutinize them every day. Each CBC draw is entered with trepidation. Are they good, bad or simply the same. What is the rate and direction of relative movement, where will they go next? What can I do and am I doing to help or hurt? Am I eating the right things and doing the correct things? Can I help the process along a bit? When will I feel comfortable re-starting a mild exercise routine? All in due time, I suppose.

Finally, as a precaution, I am severely limiting my public outings, especially to any place crowed. A mask is with me at all times and hand sanitizer is always in the pocket. Plus a bottle in each car, every room in the house, etc, etc. Our pets are cleaned and brushed every day and banned from certain rooms. We have electric air purifiers running in the bedroom and other key rooms. I changed out the HVAC filters. I severely limit outside (yard) exposure, due to the current heat wave and the propensity for dust, mold and the high humidity so prone to this region. Food is all well cooked and thoroughly cleaned. No raw anything and no skin-type fruits. My wife has been great about this. We use throw-away hand towels and drinking cups in every bathroom and kitchen. I replaced toothbrushes and other dental hygiene tools. Bath towels are washed each day.

It's still daunting and so new to me, but I wanted to share and hopefully help and share with others. As with all of us, we hope for good progress and outcome. I just retired after 36 years of work and I truly want to enjoy the fruits of a very hectic, stressful work-life. We visited our son, in CA, just before the procedure, to be sure I could have that needed contact. It was such a wonderful visit and reminded us of our strong bond to our children. He's now a responsible adult and our pride and joy. I also still have a strong urge to give back more to my family and others and need the time and health to do that. I have gained so much, from so many in my lifetime, that I owe it back.

Many years ago, upon my birth, I was abandoned by my birth mother. It eventually became a private, sealed adoption case. Many years later I learned most of that unusual story, as I tried to find background for a possible bone marrow donation from any possible blood relative. It's a long, convoluted story and was not as callous as it may initially sound. Yet I was an abandoned infant, alone, at 3 days of age and foster-homed for a year.
They didn't know what to do with me and had no legal release to act. Thankfully, a wonder couple came along seeking a child such as me and my "family" was formed. They not only shared their fine name with me, but also a wonderful, story-book life. I lost that all-loving father 5 years ago at age 90 and unfortunately just last week I lost my wonderful mother, at age 95. I was her lone care-giver and family supporter. It was the least I could do for the woman who unconditionally opened up her heart to me so long ago. Due to my condition, I unfortunately could not be there at her bedside at the end. I did, fortunately, visit her last month (she was in a nursing home, out of state). Being recently retired, I flew to her every month this year. We also had Hospice attending to her and they understood and supported my late travel restrictions. So it's been a very emotional week for me, all around. I suppose the good Lord throws a lot of challenges at us and our true measure is how we deal with them. I hope I pass the tests or at least make a darn good go of it.

My very best wishes to all who are facing similar challenges. I will try to update my journey, as things evolve. Take care and be thankful for all that you have experienced and for all those wonderful human interactions you encounter. Make the most of each and every day we have.
Stu