My thoughts for success are with you
I know exactly what you mean by people saying let me know what I can do, sometimes you need to ask. Better yet, You need someone to advocate on your behalf. It takes one person, for me it was my sister, who contacted family and friends to say "they could use this...or this" etc. Some people do not know what to do, but if they are given something specific then they will do so. My sister did this on her own and she lives outside the US, but if there is anyone you know who will take on that role then kindly suggest to them what is needed - they can be the manager of what you need, while you focus on your husband and yourself. You need to support your husband, but you also need support!
Best wishes,
Debbie