[rainbows and glitter]

So, I have been reading some of the posts here, and I am nervous about my upcoming transplant. I read a few stories where people had severe GVHD, and where they even died. I am terrified that I am going to get GVHD, or that after my transplant I may be sicker than I am right now...I have problems now, I would continue too have them if I declined the transplant...one statement in particuar has beenstuck in my mind, a woman wrote " He could've enjoyed his last few years with us and endure the MDS, it was a mistake to have the transplant." I am scared, and sadly most of my family and acquaintances are not taking the transplant seriously. they think I am just looking for attention I guess...The caregiver who is going with me is not very responsible, but I dont have anyone else. If it was'nt for him the hospital wouldnt let me come. But I wonder if he is capable of doing this.. Also the doctors tod me I can't apply for any disabiity until I have actually started the treatment, so I dont even know if I am going to have money for my expenses at home while I am recovering. I am starting to second guess my decision to have this transplant.