[georges]

Hello, and especially to Neil. I don't quite know what to say but I'm devastated that my soul mate has MDS. The bone marrow biopsy will tell us how serious, but the doctor did say that is his primary diagnosis. I'm so sad, worried, afraid, and lord knows all other emotions. Did I cause this? Was I a crappy person and this is god's revenge? Maybe if I'm nicer to people he'll recover? I know it's not logical but I think of all these things at once. I wish it were me. I'm ready to die. Why couldn't it have been me?