[Marlene]

I too couldn't stop the tears. I think I lost 10 pounds in the first 3 days of the discovery of John's bone marrow failure. They too jumped to the conclusion of cancer. John was admitted immediately for 4 units of red cells and two platelets. I went home and cried. I thought exercise would get it out of me but didn't. I felt I needed to get a grip if I was gonna be able to help him so I looked in the mirror, red eyes and all, and talked directly myself...did a little tough love one-on-one. And then laughed at myself because I looked pretty ridiculous....I then knew I was going to be able to garner the strength I would need. This crying was born out of shock and fear. Even though I still had many days of breaking down afterwards, it was different in that I wasn't crying all the time. Sometimes it was just to release my stress, sometimes over the sadness felt, sometime over my powerlessness to help him and sometime because it just breaks your heart to see someone you love go through such difficult times. I even cried at the kindness of family, friends and strangers who were there for us. It was very overwhelming emotionally.

You will get through this.
Marlene