Quote:
Originally Posted by kellym
Hi Susy, thankyou for taking the time to write, it really means a lot hear from other people and you described to a tee exactly how I'm feeling, each bloodcount is heart wrenching, especially when she asks me if she's getting well soon.
I'm glad you've managed to be tranfusion free and hope your counts continue to rise for you and all the people on here.
I'm praying for a miracle and more patience!
Best wishes, Kelly
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Kelly, honestly you are not alone - I went to the consultant last Thursday, he said that my counts were not doing anything abnormal, it is still too early to say if the ALG has worked and was quite cheery about it all. I came away feeling more positive, as he said I can return to work (I am an occupational therapist) which convinced me that I must be getting better. Then Friday the little red dots appeared again with avengeance!! I was so upset, I bawled down the phone to the chemo unit that i needed another blood test...so they did. Plates down to 11, HB 8 and the others just disappeared out of my mind as I was so upset. Monday I was back in having one bag of plates and two bags of blood, you almost feel like giving up, but then the little voice in your head argues with you. All the girls in the chemo unit said that its a rollercoaster and they aint kidding. I am normally an incredibly positive person and believe I have a little guardian angel who has looked after me through my life, but now I feel a little abandoned and out of control of the situation. I pray every day for a positive response, I know that they won't give up on me, but I know that the thought of another alg is draining....I am planning my own wedding for next year, we are looking for a house and for those little moments I forget I am not well. I am hoping that by returning to work I won't become so obsessed with these counts, but I just want to hear the words "its working". Hold on in there, sob when you need to, they have prescribed me some lorazapam to help, and I find that one of these when it really gets tough helps. Thinking of you, and holding on to all the supportive words of encouragement out there that we are not alone xxxx