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Melissa please don't think you are responsible for the drop in his counts. I think all caregivers are prone to feeling guilty on some level. I know I would re-visit decisions and think the same. The truth is, this disease can have you second guessing your choices when things are not going well. Somehow we think we should "know" when in truth, not even the doctors can know or predict how someone will respond to medicine or treatment. You make the best decision you can and hope for the best.
I try to remember to have "tenderness for the past, courage for the present, and hope for the future". Don't be so hard on yourself.
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Marlene, wife to John DX w/SAA April 2002, Stable partial remission; Treated with High Dose Cytoxan, Johns Hopkins, June 2002. Final phlebotomy 11/2016. As of July 2021 HGB 12.0, WBC 4.70/ANC 3.85, Plts 110K.
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