[imckinne]

The doctor seems to be reacting to day to changes as much as we are. She's now developed a gram pos bacteria as well and they've again adjusted the meds based on the cultures. She has a morphene drip and is keeping herself pretty well doped up because of body pain that seems to come on from the sepsis. Then she has no interest in food. We've started to bring her food from outside to motivate her to eat as she's sick of the hospital food after nearly 6 weeks. She's incredibly weak and she's really not showing much motivation to fight through this, although she also won't say it's time for hospice. After they brought her back from dropping pressures in response to the sepsis on Monday she told the aid we have we her that she was furious that they didn't let her die. I think the doc typically does a BMB 4 weeks out to look for changes in the marrow and that he believe he can hep her motivation if he can see some promising changes. He's saying he will see the changes in the marrow well before there are any changes in her counts. Mom is also very angry when we (her children) come to see her - mom is in Florida, I'm in Phila, sister in Georgia, brother in NY - she told us it makes it harder on her to let go when we're there. At this point we've all returned home and I'll continue to manage things via phone with the docs and nurses and see how the next few days go. All the nurses in the ICU are seeing her as near the end because of her physical and emotional condition but the doctor still seems to think she will pull through this.