[Krista]

Well, its been about a week and a half since my platelets first dropped, and I've done a lot of reading since then on these forums. I think the conclusion that I've come to is that I should consider how lucky I am to be doing so well right now, that I haven't had many complications and that the first round of ATG one year ago worked so well my counts started increasing the day I left the hospital. Having no knowledge of what is "normal," or how serious it really is, I've been having trouble coming to terms with things. But hearing about all the realities of your lives makes me worry some and think some, but mostly happy that, for right now at least, things are going well. I did finally get a letter written and out to my teachers, and they reacted much better than I expected. I can understand now why my doctor is so optimistic. It happened that, upon recieving a call from my family doctor that I needed to go to the ER immiediatly, I was going to a hospital with an experienced team who knew how to treat me. They didn't even consider a BMT, and my brother never got tested for being a match (they tried, but because of how far away he lives, and his belonging in the military, there was a lot of red tape). My mom is worried in her own distant way, I'm sure trying not to scare me with her worry. I think she is just as concerned for me as I am for her. Well, almost anyway. I still live on my own, about 4 hours away from home, and still do all the things I have to do to live my life. I schedule my own doctor's appointments, and I'm the one that calls to check if the thing I'm worried about really necesitates a blood test, though I usually get one anyway. I am a little scared about the things I could be exposing myself to right now in my apartment, and about my job prospects for the future. Is it really possible to support myself if I have to miss so much work for medical care? Anyway, I'm getting carried away with myself. You guys really do help a lot by writing these posts, and by contributing to the greater knowledge of the rest of us out there. I'd still be clueless, wondering the most obvious things about this strange and mysterious disease. I guess as long as I have more healthy days than sick and I can somehow afford healthcare, then I'll be fine. I'm gradually learning my limits and how to handle them, and getting back to the rest of my life. I'm so thankful I get to go back to school and spend my life as a person of the world, and not a patient of a hospital. Good luck to you guys, too!