[Chirley]

When my Dad came back from visiting Mum he was very upset with little tears running down his cheeks (first time I've ever seen him cry).

Some doctor had seen Mum in the morning and told her that she was probably not going to survive. The nurse overheard this and told Mum to ignore him because he was "just in a bad mood". Mum told Dad this and he just lost the plot. Mum was also extremely breathless (which is spasmodic) and very distressed.

I rang the Nurse Manager in charge of the hospital (no liaison person on duty) and told her that i wasn't happy with the medical care, the active obstruction to communication and the inappropriate comments from the doctor that morning. She said that the hospital computer lists my mothers diagnosis as "anaemia" and she didn't understand what all the fuss was about. I told her that my mother has renal failure and respiratory failure and that the anaemia
was a very poor third consideration. She agreed to talk to my Mum and read her medical chart and ring me back.

When she rang back she did agree that Mum had renal failure but she was only breathless because of the anaemia which they didn't want to transfuse her for because of the kidneys. She also said that the heart attack she had had the day before was very mild (we hadnt been told anything about a heart attack and neither had Mum). I let the NM know that I didn't believe her explanation for Mums breathlessness because she was given two units of blood in ED within a six hour period and that she didn't have the breathing distress until then. That if anaemia was causing the problem her breathing should have improved if the anaemia had been treated and not the exact opposite.

I demanded that they start arranging for an inter hospital transfer ASAP but the NM refused to do anything, however she did arrange for me to talk to Mums doctor this morning at 9 am and when I meet him he's in for a bit of a shock.......I understand that every one is fallible and that medical personnel can make mistakes (which doesn't make it right) but to lie by omission and cover up and deny their mistakes is downright unforgivable and even criminal.

Dad told me last night that he will keep living until Mum dies so he can be there for her but after she's gone he's going to take his own life. This is not a reactional depression talking, I know he means it and I can't judge him for it.

In my own mind, I'm still hopeful that she will pull through but I need to optimize her chances by getting her better medical care in a calmer quieter
environment, so I will not rest until she is transferred to a better facility.

I wondered if by agitating for Mum to receive better care, I was adding to Dads emotional distress but he gave me a kiss last night and thanked me for "making the bastards accountable".

Oh, and SLB, I've been so busy I really haven't thought much about the biopsy but I've had some RUQ pain for the last year or so but it's been a lot worse in the last few days and I keep getting pain in my right shoulder, at the moment it feels like yet another thing to make life just a bit harder. Hopefully, it will go away soon.

Regards

Chirley