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Old Sun Mar 18, 2007, 09:58 AM
Barbara2007 Barbara2007 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 10
I am the care receiver

I am the patient (recovering) and I always worried that my adult children were taking on too much and giving up so much for me. They are close and I knew they had their family and friends to vent with. I read about the fine line between hovering and helping-I hated to ask for help! I felt I had lost everything that was my life-and I had to be pushed in a wheelchair in the beginning. My daughter opened her home to me and she was my outspoken spokesperson and kept detailed journals when I couldn't. They saw my struggles, tears, exhaustion and I tried to stay out of her way. But then we all began to communicate better and I gained strength and was able to help her in the housekeeping and enjoying my granddaughter. Her and I had very different housekeeping styles-mine being a little too "excessive' and I learned to let it go! It just didn't matter if that dish didn't get washed or that sock returned to its drawer. That was the hardest lesson for me-let it go and accept the help that is offered w/love and thankfullness. I was not pitied-I wsa loved! I was not putting anyone out- they helped because they wanted to and I leaned to let them and enjoy the time we shared. My church provided meals and bottled water for months-my friends came to visit-you know even a 10 minute visit was tiring-but it was ok to stay in my sweats, it was ok to sit and just listen and enjoy their chatter-it kept me from becoming so isolated and then depressed. I was scared and now 3 yrs. later I feel I have come a very long way. I now live w/my son who is closer to my hospital and he and I are both "excessive" housekeepers. I go to knitting groups, quilt,and do yoga. I am creating a new me and I am so very thankful for the family and friends that supported me to this point. I try not to complain and really they know when it's a bad day. No regrets on their part they tell me and
I know beyond a doubt that if I get worse-all I need to do is call and I will be surrounded with love and help and hugs. (don't forget the hugs!) Barbara
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