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Old Sat Jun 1, 2013, 09:56 PM
KathyM KathyM is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 23
Does Anyone Read This Section

I wasnt sure where to post this - and I see that there is not much activity here - I'm having a particulary tough night - and I guess I just want to vent.

A quick background - Dennis had a MUD on April 24th - he's doing quite well - however, he was re-admitted on Friday night with some skin issues. The dr's said this is normal in the recovery process. He has been home about 10 days - and really doing remarkably well-

But thats not why I'm here on this particular subject - I'm exhausted. For 35 days, I worked full-time - kept things together at home and drove 40 minutes each way after work to visit him...and went every weekend too. There were only 3 days I didn't visit.

I took 10 days off from work when he came home - i've been managing medications, making a zillion trips to the drugstore, grocery store, doing laundry....on and on..I don't have to tell anyone here how much work it is.

..and now he is back in the hospital - I went with him to his clinic visit yesterday - stayed from 8:30am - and i got home at 9pm last night - today - I got things together at home - ran errands and went to the hospital at 2pm - stayed until 5:30. At 5;30 his brother and wife came for a visit - so, I said that I was going to leave and have dinner with my neighbor.

I had dinner (pizza with a neighbor) - came home, made a pot of spaghetti sauce, cooked chicken noodle soup so that we have food when he gets home (I have to go back to work on Monday) - filled all the pills containers - and sat down to call Dennis.

He was not happy with me at all. He was annoyed that I had left the hospital when I did. I apologized and said I didnt' think he would mind - ....

So now I sit here and ask myself - am I not doing enough - i'm torn between feeling guilty and feeling a little hurt and angry at the same time.

Please tell me someone else has felt this way and I'm not the only one. Please, I understand he's going through a lot - really, I do - and I'm trying my best.

Can someone help me.
__________________
Kathy, wife of Dennis (58 yrs old) diagnosed October 2012 w/MDS; bone marrow biopsy confirmed significant fibrosis;blast cells of 5%-10% of total cells, high risk refractory anemia w/ excess blasts (RAEB1); 3 cytogenetic markers; +1, -7, and +21
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dennismolyneaux

Last edited by KathyM : Sat Jun 1, 2013 at 10:02 PM. Reason: typos and clarification
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