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Dan92,
I'm so sorry that you lost your dad, especially when he was only in his 50s. It's very gracious of you to post about it.
It's hard to read about people who don't survive and those they leave behind, but it helps us learn, and it's part of the reason for discussion boards like this one.
I don't think you should second-guess the decision to use another donor. The second donor was also 10/10, so it made sense to use a different donor to try to get a different outcome. A relapsed and fast-moving cancer put your dad in a much harder position, no matter who the donor was.
I hope your dad made the most of those 2+ years in remission, even through he and the rest of your family deserved more time together.
When he last talked to you, do you think your dad knew inside that he had reached the end? I've heard similar stories where somebody who is failing somehow knows when the time comes to say goodbye, and pulls out the strength to do it.
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