he fought a good fight

[bebop]

I lost Dad yesterday. He passed in my arms standing up. He fought so hard and so long. One minute he was talking and kind of giggling a little and the next he was gone.

[mausmish]

Elaine,

I'm so sorry about your losing your Dad. You've been a wonderfully supportive daughter, and it's great that you were able to be with him to the end. It sounds like his final moments were happy, and he is surely at peace now.

Karen

[cathybee1]

I'm so sorry to hear about this, and so glad you were with him at the end of his fight as you were at the beginning. Your dad's story has been very inspiring.

[Neil Cuadra]

I am very sorry that you lost your Dad, Elaine. Even though you knew his time was limited it must be hard to accept that he's really gone.

He couldn't have asked for a more dedicated daughter. You fought this battle with him every step of the way and I hope you find peace in your memories of your time with him.

[Chirley]

Hello Elaine.

I would like to offer my condolonces on the passing of your father.

I know this is probably too soon for you to appreciate but .....what a wonderful way to say goodbye to someone you love. He passed in your loving arms and happy. What a wonderful memory for you to have.


Chirley

[Neel]

I am so sorry to know your loss bepop, may the departing soul rest in peace and i pray to God to give you and your family strength to deal with the situation.

regards,

neel

[bebop]

thank you all so much. I am very blessed to have you all. I will come back and maybe give a litte more detail. I think it was pretty amazing. I am doing ok for now. Tomorrow and Saturday come the hardest part. Much love and peace to you all.

[squirrellypoo]

I'm so sorry to hear of his passing, bebop. He really did fight as hard as possible throughout all this, and he was so lucky to have you there for support.

[mscrzy1]

So sorry to hear of your loss.

[Al's Wife]

I'm so sorry to learn of your Dad's passing, but I'm glad you were with him. May you have strength in the days ahead.
Linda

[SheWhoKnits]

I'm sorry to hear of his passing. I know it's very painful. I lost my mom to lymphoma a few years ago. Take comfort in that he had as many years as he did and had a good life with a wonderful daughter. It's so nice he was happy.

[bebop]

tomorrow is the 1 month mark. Man time sure has flown by. I wanted to tell how it happened with Dad. I hope that is ok with you guys but just felt like it is time to share.

As you guys know I think, they stopped dads' transfusions on April 5th. the Dr said he had maybe a month even if she continued those. He was so weak that day at the dr. He hugged his favorite nurse like he knew he would not see her again. Anyway he got to where he would not eat more than a bite or 2 at a time then towards the end he would only drink a tiny bit. He would get very confused especially the last few days.
The day he died was amazing really. I walked in the door and he said " hey old woman" I said "hey old man" and he laughed. I had been there about a half hour when some long time friends showed up. He told the older woman to give him a hug and he kissed her on the cheek. We all talked for a few minutes and he told his wife to take him to the bathroom. She put him on a walker with a seat and took him. I told the women that I didn't think he would be here by the end of the week. A few minutes had passed and my stepmom came out and got his little oxygen tank. Then she yelled for me with urgency in her voice. When I got to the bathroom she told me to hold his head up. Something had happened in a short time that he could not hold it up. I lifted his head and it was clammy. I told him to look at me. His eyes kind of rolled a little bit. I told him I had to get him off the toilet and if he could to help me which he did I think. I told him to put his arms around me while I got him up. His head rested on my shoulder and we took 2 steps backwards and I went to turn him around and his hand dropped off my shoulder. He was gone. I didn't know it at that moment. It was very fast.
I miss him terribly but God is so good. I had prayed every day and night for it to be fast and don't let him bleed out. I got both.

if this needs to be deleted I understand.
thank you all so much for your support over the last year. I pray they find a cure! soon!

[Neil Cuadra]

Thank you for sharing the details of your Dad's last day, Elaine. The fear of dying affects so many in this community, as does the fear of not knowing how it will happen. It's hard to read about your experience but important for us to hear. Until we find a cure, death will remain a facet of MDS and we can't pretend otherwise.

It must have been painful for you to write about your Dad's last hours and moments but I hope it was also comforting for you to relate it. That your Dad could initiate hugs and jokes, eat a few bites, and enjoy some company convinces me that he was at peace and not in pain. I'm so glad that you were there at the time and that he knew it.

[mausmish]

Hi Elaine,

Thank you so much for posting this poignant story of your Dad's final day. I hope that the writing was cathartic for you and will help you find peace. It's obvious the two of you were very close, all the way to the end.

Karen

[bebop]

Neil I have to say with all the possible senarios for him to pass I was terrified of what would happen. I prayed every night for those not to happen. I prayed he would not have a bleed that we could see and for it to be fast and I got both. I do believe in the power of prayer. The bad part of it for me is he did not look like himself in the casket as he was really bad dehydrated. Yes it does help to talk and write about him. You guys here are wonderful support people. Not sure what I would have done without you all.

[freedom99]

Hello Bepop- Elaine
My thoughts and prayers will be with you this week.
Yes, the loss of your dad brings a journey of grief with all it's heartaches. It's also a journey that must be travelled to reach it's end and on the day it ends one can begin the reflect on the memories and make those memories and parts of your dad part of you to make you even stronger.
I will pray this week that you will safely with peace and calm walk this journey with confidence while placing your trust in Him alone.

[Noni]

I'm so sorry to hear of the the passing of your father. What a blessing for you to be there with him at the end.

Prayers for you and the family.