My Partner has AA and is so very angry.

[Sinead2012]

Has anyone else experienced this? My Partner of 6 years was diagnosed with Severe Aplastic Anemia on the 23rd of Dec 2011. We were handling this shock well together but now he has become very angry with me. It started about a month after he was diagnosed. He had ATG treatment a little over 3 weeks ago and his counts are stable, they are reducing the amount of steroids and cyclosporine he's on and his counts are stable for the minute. I worry so much but everything I do or don't do enrages him. His mood changes from minute to minute and he is fine with everyone else. I understand he is very ill but he doesn't seem to see I am living every horrible moment of this with him. When I ask him why he's so angry with him he doesn't know why and says "I just am" I'm not sure what to do. Please help.

[evansmom]

It's very likely the prednisone (steroid) he's on to prevent serum sickness from the ATG. Once he's off of it, which should be in the near future, his anger will ease up, of this I am almost certain. Just try and be patient for now, although he should be a bit more mindful as well.

Best wishes,

[Neil Cuadra]

Nicole is right, but I think it's also possible that the anger at you is really anger directed at aplastic anemia, and you just happen to be in the line of fire. Learning that you have a life-threatening disease is a horrible shock, and everyone reacts in their own way. There's nothing more important than your life and the lives of your loved ones, and there's no easy way to face the possibility of losing them.

Experts may try to classify our reactions into stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) but it's so individual that there's no "usual" reaction and no right or wrong reactions. Some patients exhibit none of these emotions and other patients exhibit many of them, not always soon after the time of diagnosis.

I suggest that you look into the possible medical explanation, but also consider whether it might be an emotional issue. You can look for suitable help and advice in either case.

[Sinead2012]

Thanks so much to both of you, I really appreciate the support, things look a little brighter today. One of his better days. I hope it is the steroids, they're reducing the dose gradually and hopefully this will improve the situation. Grief does funny things to us all. Thank you both again and kindest regards.

[Lisa V]

I just want to echo what the others have said. What you describe sounds exactly like what it was like with my husband when he was on prednisone. He was demanding and unhappy about everything, and lashed out at the person closest to him-- me. Of course he felt bad about it, but that didn't keep him from doing it. I tried to tell myself he was just frustrated with his inability to control this disease so he was trying to control the one thing he could-- again, me. We even met with a therapist, which didn't really help at all. I imagine there was some emotional stuff going on, but lo and behold, the irritability miraculously evaporated as soon as he tapered off the drug. What a relief it was to find out we didn't really need couples therapy!

[DarDar789]

I went through the ATG in February and was on prednisone for about a month since I had to taper slowly because I suffered from severe serum sickness. The prednisone definitely changed my mood, and I was more than irritable to everyone around me, especially my mother and boyfriend who only wanted to take care of me! So, give your partner some time and I'm sure everything will be back to or al soon