Bailie...Day+1059 Final Goodbye

[Callie]

You knew him as Bailie (real name Gary). I knew him as Dad - the best Dad a daughter could ever have. You knew him as an avid poster to the forum; someone always welcoming a new member; someone who has gone through so much and continued to overcome...I hope an inspiration to many.

I am writing this post - a post I hoped to never write - to regretfully tell you that Dad died at approximately 3am this morning. He was at Day +1059 from transplant. But after relapsing in Mar 15, going into remission for 2 years before relapsing again in Apr 17, the disease finally was too powerful. He spent April in the hospital undergoing induction chemo, which fortunately worked - he came out with zero blasts. He was just so weak, though. The subsequent round of Dacogen and follow-on DLI (Donor Lymphocyte Infusion) brought on new troubles. He went in for routine lab work last Monday, but was admitted instead. And even though his blasts went from 40% on Monday to 70% on Thursday, the doctors were hopeful and had a plan. We truly thought he'd be coming home this past weekend. He wasn't able to, though, and we said goodbye to a wonderful person today.

I've never posted here before - I left that to Dad. But we checked the forum in the mornings and evenings, and always discussed the new threads - being excited with and for those doing well; being sad for those in tough situations and especially the Families of those lost. All of you have been like Family these past three years and I can't thank each and everyone of you enough. We couldn't have gone through this whole ordeal without the support and knowledge of everyone on the site. Neil - thank you, as always, for this amazing site and never ending support. RAR and DANL - you both have been my go-to people since transplant - please continue your fight and know Dad appreciated you both so incredibly much. Cheryl C and others - thank you for checking in on Dad when he was quiet this past month.

This has been such an all-consuming journey these past three years. He wasn't ready to go. But he knew the statistics were against him and he was so tired and weak in the end. He died, though, in the manner he hoped - quietly, peacefully, and without great fanfare. It will be so difficult not having Dad here. He was Dad and I loved him so much.

I wish all of you the very best. Please continue the fight. If there's anything I can assist with, from the caregiver standpoint, and from someone who was right there with Dad the whole way, please let me know. I know Dad would like to continue providing his "wisdom".

With such overwhelming sadness,
Kellie

[JordanN]

Dear Kellie,

From another daughter who lost another amazing dad, you have my deepest sympathies and truly heartfelt condolences. Your dad was a wonderful inspiration and source of knowledge and comfort to so many of us on this forum, and he will be deeply missed here. He always amazed me with his positive attitude and resilience when facing so many set backs (he had more than his far share of those), and he turned his misfortune into hope and help for all of us here.

Please, know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and that hugs and warm wishes are being sent your way!

[triumphe64]

I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for letting us know.

[Meri T.]

May he rest in peace. Such a wonderful soul.

Meri

[DanL]

Kellie,

I am very sorry to hear of your father's passing. He was a genuine inspiration to me, and I am sure many others. He was always positive, strong, and encouraging, and an example for all in the forums, and I am sure outside as well.

[Hopeful]

I find it hard to believe that bailie is gone. I am so sorry for your loss. He was an inspiring voice and will be missed. Peace to you, bailie and to those that you left behind.

[rar]

I will miss your father's factual and emphatic posts. He can't be replaced. I was just over a month ahead of him on on the transplant cycle so I have an idea of what he went through, but every case is different. I mourn your loss.

Ray

[Sue&Dave]

The boards have been eerily quiet in the past few weeks and the reason is now clear. I am so sorry to hear of his passing. Your Dad was among the first to welcome us to this board, and we learned a lot from him. My fervent prayer is that no other daughters, sons, loved ones, spouses or caregivers ever have to post as you did, but the awful reality is that we will..... Hugs to you and your family. Sue

[Neil Cuadra]

Callie,

Ruth and I are so sorry to hear this news. You have our heartfelt sympathy on the loss of a wonderful man. Gary reached the milestones of age 70 and 1000 days post-transplant, but he deserved more.

For three and a half years since joining this community, Gary shared his wisdom and his concern for others: welcoming, encouraging, advising, supporting, and consoling strangers who became online friends. Let's not forget that he was also a veteran who served his country.

My wife and I think that Gary's positive attitude was a major reason that he made it past so many obstacles and kept his head up through multiple setbacks. It's clear that the support of his family was another reason.

It is very generous of you, Callie, to share news of your father's passing with us in this time of mourning. We will not forget him.

[worriedmama]

So sorry for your loss. Wishing you and your family peace during this difficult time.

[Cheryl C]

Dear Callie and family

My deepest, sincere sympathy for the loss of Bailie (as we knew him). He was such a positive, learned, encouraging and supportive contributor to this forum. I've missed his regular posts lately and will continue to do so. I recall his recounting of the long trip with you and dogs when you moved and his love for and pride in you came through. It's a big loss for us but massive for you and I'm sending you a hug online. God bless and comfort you.

[maggiemag]

Oh, no, please not Bailie.
Callie, thank you for letting us know. Such a difficult post for you to write.

We certainly will not forget him.

I found his optimistic but-with-eyes-wide-open, knowledgeable approach to this stupid disease, catching. It was calm, measured, and based I think on the fact that knowledge is power. Definitely an inspiration to many, and irreplaceable. Rest in peace, Bailie.

[Annettec]

Dear Kellie & family,

So very sorry for your loss, my heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Your father, Gary (aka Bailie to us...) will most definitely be missed by one and all on this forum. He openly shared his knowledge and always had great advice for everyone, when asked. He was unassuming, kind and so very positive! It's simply not going to be the same without him....just like when Brigitte left us..


I'm also a caregiver. My mother (now 80) was diagnosed with MDS high risk II in May 2014 and while Vidaza gave her time & quality of life, she has been unwell since Easter and while she miraculously survived a major infection & felt relatively well for a few weeks, she is now getting weaker, heart palpitations, heaviness, etc etc so I know we're getting close......although she isn't in any pain per say, it's still difficult to watch this process.... They are no longer giving her platelet transfusions so it's just a matter of time....

Take care and know that your father is now at peace.
hugs
Annette

[lisa3112]

So sorry for your loss. Bailie always helped others on this page. He had so much knowledge, and if he didnt have an answer, he tried to research the topic. Such a fighter, he will be missed.

[Lifeguard]

Dear Kellie,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your Dad was a wonderful inspiration to me and he will truly be missed. My prayers and thoughts will be with you and your family. Rest in peace Bailie.

[Owen M]

Dear Kellie

When I was placed on the Vidaza program I read everything I could get my hands on, but after my first cycle I wanted to talk to someone who had experienced Vidaza to get answers to some of the things I was experiencing. I stumbled on this Web Site and in particular Baille who showed up everywhere supporting,giving advice and getting answers for people to things
They needed to know. In the MDS forum Dick was looking for answers and Baille responded .The thread had been going back and forth by the time I discovered it and reached out to both of them. Your Dad was back to me almost immediately. While our exchanges were limited I got answers that really helped me understand things I was experiencing and also allowed me to have better dialogue with my Oncologists. While it might sound trivial and even stupid the thing I will remember your Dad for most is when he answered my question about being able to play golf while on the Vidaza program. He explained that not only did he play that at times he played after he got his shots. I love my golf and now going into my 5th cycle try to play twice a week. May times I have gotten my reaĺly tired and without fail I will think of your Dad and what he had gone through playing golf. How can I not finish. the round.

MY sincere Condolences to you and your family

Owen M