Stopping all treatment

[SLB]

Patti, my heart hurts for you and Dean. Your strength, love and fight have been inspirational! Thank you for sharing your journey with us all. Thinking and praying for you.

[Cheryl C]

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Patti and Dean, Dru and Bob.

[MagicBob]

Originally Posted by PattiDean

Thank you so very much for your continued support and prayers.

Dean is still at Hospice, and the last two days have been so hard to watch. When Dean was first admitted on Thursday, he was very weak, but we were able to talk, mostly about how strong he has been through all of this, and our lives together over the last 23 years. We have been married 13 years, but have known each other since 1990.

Saturday night Dean began hallucinating, trying to get out of bed, telling me to leave him alone, etc., He was sleeping for short periods, then waking up and fighting with people or things that weren't there.

Yesterday he became more confused, he took off his hospital gown, won't let anyone put it back on, said there were cats in his bed, wanted to get up and fix the nail in the wall, etc. He has no idea who I am.

The nurses say he is possibly having small bleeds in his brain, because he probably has no more platelets. Ten days ago, at his final labs, his platelets were 8. Around Dean's eyes, the skin is a deep purple, and he has black bruises all over his arms, and neck now.

I hope it will be over soon. This is so difficult to watch. Even with all the medication, he is not sleeping, just for short periods, then he tries to get up and out of bed. I can't leave his room, when I have to use the restroom, I need to ask the nurse to stay with him. Tonight there is a volunteer that is with him. The nurses at hospice told me to go home for a few hours and rest, but I can't sleep.

I am physically and emotionally exhausted, I try to stay at Hospice constantly, but it has been five days now and I needed to come home tonight, although I can't sleep and will be going back to Hospice in a little while. As many of you know I have no family members, I am alone, that is making this even more difficult. I feel so alone right now.

Thank you for letting me write this post. I haven't slept all night I just don't know what else to do.

Hi Patti and Dean,

Patti, you have been there all the way for Dean, and as a group we are with you and with our arms wrapped around you both.

Stay close and keep us up to date.

Our Love, Prayers, Hugs, and Care,

Dru and Bob MagicBob

[Sally C]

Dear Patti,
How I wish I was closer to be there with you. As MagicBob said, we are all collectively with you although I know that's not the same as being physically there. I pray for you both every day and hope that this will soon be over for you and Dean.
God love, bless, and comfort you as only He can.
Sally

[Honeybun]

Dear Patti

I hope the hospice gives you some contacts for grief counselling and other help during this time. No one should be alone Patti. I hope you have a neighbour or friend who can be there with you and make sure you are ok. Some of us don't think straight when we are tired and emotional, you need support for all your going through.

Thinking of you

Honey

[susanML]

Originally Posted by MagicBob

Hi Patti and Dean,

Patti, you have been there all the way for Dean, and as a group we are with you and with our arms wrapped around you both.

Stay close and keep us up to date.

Our Love, Prayers, Hugs, and Care,

Dru and Bob MagicBob

My heart aches for you- I wish there was something I could do for you or say that would make things better. Please believe that God is there watching over you and Dean -

[bebop]

I wish I could just put my arms around you right now and give you comfort. You do need to take a little time for yourself hon. I know that is much easier said than done though. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Elaine

[DebS]

Patti,

I agree with all of the others. I so wish I could give you a hug. Know that you have tons of virtual hugs here.

God Bless you my dear!

Deb

[LizR]

Patti -

Here's a hug from us. I can only hope to have your grace in the months and years to come.

[PattiDean]

You fought your sixteen month battle against Myelodyspastic Syndrome (MDS) with courage, strength and dignity. Only those going through this fight will understand how difficult it was. No more needles, chemo, transfusions, doctor visits, hospitals. Like you said at your last transfusion "I don't have to do this anymore"! You were so brave!



Dean I. Darby
Febuary 1, 1937 - September 30, 2013


I always knew the time would come when we would say 'goodbye'.
It came so soon, my heart is sad, it seems like we just said 'Hi'.

The times we shared now have a place, so special in my heart.
The memories, the laughs and tears, all from the very start.

I care so very much for you, the feelings just won't end.
My love, my life, my husband, my dearest and best friend.

They say it's a beautiful journey from the old world to the new
Someday I'll make that journey which will lead me straight to you

And when we reach that garden in which there is no pain
I'll put my arms around you and we'll never part again

If I listen really close when I am now alone at night
I'll hear your voice comfort me and say that you are alright

It isn't easy to understand why certain things must be
And the reasons why they happen are so often hard to see

But I will find comfort in the knowledge that God is always there
To keep the one I loved so much forever in His care

You gave me many things in life, gifts both great and small
But most of all you gave me love and that's the greatest gift of all


I Will Love You Forever, Patti

[gramous]

Hello Patti,

Dean is now in peace. You are both an exemple of courage for this forum. You are right when you said that it's so difficult to say goodbye but Dean's mind is always with you. A lot of hugs and courage, take care of you. Friendly regards, béné

[Honeybun]

Dear Patti

I am sad to hear the news. My deepest sympathies to you Patti. May Dean finally find peace as well as yourself. Please take care of your self and get what ever help you need to get you through this time.

What a beautiful poem and a lovely picture of Dean.

Big hugs

Honey

[Sally C]

My Dear Patti,
As many have said - your grace, courage, and dignity has shown through all these difficult months. And all the while you have reached out to others with your unending concern and compassion. You and Dean have been an example to all.
I am thankful that Dean is now at peace with his Heavenly Father. I know he will be looking over you in the days ahead.
Take good care of yourself. You have been Dean's angel on earth. And Honey is right - what a beautiful, appropriate poem - and wonderful picture of Dean. So handsome...
With love, prayers and (((hugs)))
God Bless and comfort you,
Sally

[DebS]

Patti,

What a beautiful tribute to your beloved Dean. It is so true that he is no longer suffering and is at peace.

May God wrap his arms around you and comfort you now in your time of need.

The strength and dignity you and Dean have shown is such a wonderful and inspirational example for all of us.

Deb

[rkp]

Dear Patti,
Very sorry to hear this news.Dean fought a hard and courageous battle.
May you find peace ,comfort and strength to bear this loss.Take care of yourself and as Honey has suggested please get help in this difficult time.
-RP

[Neil Cuadra]

Dean was a hero to all of us. Patti, you are still a hero to all of us. You've shown us how far love and inner strength can carry you. I hope you continue to feel Dean's presence and the love he gave you back every day. You have my sympathies for a loss that can't be measured.

[Lbrown]

Patti,

I'm so sorry to hear about Dean. Lovely poem and photo, thanks for posting.

Deb

[mausmish]

Patti, my heart aches for you. May you find some peace in good memories of your time together. Karen

[Al's Wife]

Patti,

Words are so inadequate at a time like this. My heart is so heavy and I wish I were closer to try and help comfort you. Please know you will be in my thoughts and prayers and I know Dean would want you to know that you were a wonderful wife, friend and caregiver.
God bless you and please stay in touch.

[edithr]

Patti,

I'm so very sorry for your loss, my sympathies are with you and your loved ones. I hope in time you'll come back to visit us here, if it isn't too painful for you.

I have to go reread my book, The Fall of Freddie the Leaf. It was given to me when my mom died, and I have read it probably a hundred times. It's one of those books that has layers and layers of meanings, and even though I cry when I read it, it gives me a good feeling inside at the same time.

[Lifeguard]

Dear Patti,

I am so sorry for your loss. Your poem is beautiful and the photo of Dean is lovely. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Rachael

[Honeybun]

Dear Patti

Tonight is the Light the Night event here in Perth. I will carry a lantern for Dean for you, as well as my own on the walk.

Honey

[MagicBob]

Originally Posted by PattiDean

You fought your sixteen month battle against Myelodyspastic Syndrome (MDS) with courage, strength and dignity. Only those going through this fight will understand how difficult it was. No more needles, chemo, transfusions, doctor visits, hospitals. Like you said at your last transfusion "I don't have to do this anymore"! You were so brave!



Dean I. Darby
Febuary 1, 1937 - September 30, 2013


I always knew the time would come when we would say 'goodbye'.
It came so soon, my heart is sad, it seems like we just said 'Hi'.

The times we shared now have a place, so special in my heart.
The memories, the laughs and tears, all from the very start.

I care so very much for you, the feelings just won't end.
My love, my life, my husband, my dearest and best friend.

They say it's a beautiful journey from the old world to the new
Someday I'll make that journey which will lead me straight to you

And when we reach that garden in which there is no pain
I'll put my arms around you and we'll never part again

If I listen really close when I am now alone at night
I'll hear your voice comfort me and say that you are alright

It isn't easy to understand why certain things must be
And the reasons why they happen are so often hard to see

But I will find comfort in the knowledge that God is always there
To keep the one I loved so much forever in His care

You gave me many things in life, gifts both great and small
But most of all you gave me love and that's the greatest gift of all


I Will Love You Forever, Patti

Patti, we had been dreading this news and still don't have the words to help ease your pain.

Dru and I offer our sympathy, our love and prayers.

Also here is our email, we would love to communicate with you personally from time to time: drubob63@verizon.net

Dru and Bob MagicBob

[bebop]

Patti my thoughts and prayers are with you during this very rough time. I am so sorry to hear about Dean. Today he is completely healed! I hope you have some good friends around you. Much love and peace hon.

Elaine

[PattiDean]

It is very early in the morning, and I am unable to sleep.


I do wish I could thank each of you in person for your kind and supportive words, your expressions of sympathy, and your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time for me.

I cannot find the words to express my feelings for your love and support.

Each of you are helping me get through this and giving me great comfort. I hope you know how much it means to me.

As always, sending my love, hugs, faith, hope, prayers and a little laughter each day.

Patti


Also, yesterday I found out that my cousin's husband has just been diagnosed with MDS. It doesn't seem possible.