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Spouses and Caregivers The people who take care of the patient

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Old Sun Dec 5, 2010, 08:42 PM
ann ann is offline
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Burleson, TX
Posts: 77
My husband is no longer on this earth

On Nov. 29, my beloved Henry went to be with his Heavenly Father. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends and that night he began to run a fever. The next day we took him to the ER and he was cross-matched for a transfusion. He was given 4 units of blood but they did not seem to help. His cardiologist was doing tests and had another planned on Monday the 29th. We watched the football games on TV with our grandson, and ate a small bowl of tortilla soup from his favorite Mexican restaurant. He told us it was the best thing he had eaten since Thanksgiving night at home.
He insisted I go home and get some rest and be back in the morning to "get him out of this place" but the Lord came before daybreak and took him home.
I am so thankful he just went to sleep and sometime after midnight his monitor at the nurses station showed his BP dropped and his heart stopped.
They came and began to do CPR because we had not thought to inform them to put do not resisitate on his file. I got to the hospital and told them to stop because he did not want CPR. He was just beginning to feel pain in his bones, especially his back. He fought the good fight and the Vidaza had been doing its job. His heart was just too weak and he was ready. We had a wonderful life together and my life will never be the same. He was my sunshine but I have faith that we will be together someday. I had our minister and choir director sing our favoirite Alan Jackson song at his funeral.
"I want to stroll across Heaven with you." I have faith that my beloved will be waiting when I get there to show me all the sights of our new home.
God bless to all you members of the Forums, you have been my rock of information. Stay strong.
Ann, wife of Henry 73 year old diagnosed MDS, congestive heart disease and pulmonary edema..
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Old Sun Dec 5, 2010, 09:30 PM
cheri cheri is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Tuckahoe New Jersey
Posts: 243
Glad your last days with your husband were wonderful ones...there is no doubt you were a great wife. Keep the happy memories and take care of yourself....God bless YOU Ann!
Cheri Age 54; dx Oct 2009 AML, induction chemo only;dx MDS July 2010,- PRBC transfusion dependent; Results BMB 8/4/11--- 6-8% blasts; Danazol 100 mg 3xday; quit Exjade/ GI distress; platelets holding 40's; Fluctuation in blasts in blood--Neupogen 3-4xweek; off Revlimid again! Procrit weekly
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Old Sun Dec 5, 2010, 11:31 PM
mausmish mausmish is offline
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Maryland
Posts: 453

What a wonderful life you've had together and it's great that Henry was able to pass peacefully after many happy days in the end. Bless you for being such a devoted wife and friend. I hope the happy memories will far outweigh the sadness of missing him.

My condolences for your loss.

Karen, age 62, dx MDS RAEB-2 1/8/10: pancytopenia WBC 2.7k/Hgb 7.4/Hct 22.1/Plt 19k; complex cytogenetics -3,del(5)(q14q33),-6,+8,+mar,17% blasts. MUD BMT Johns Hopkins 11/30/10. Dx tongue cancer 8/31/12. ok now. blog mausmarrow.com
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Old Mon Dec 6, 2010, 01:49 AM
Neil Cuadra Neil Cuadra is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 2,518

You're a friend to many in these forums and we're very sorry for your loss. Your love for Henry has always been apparent.

We know how hard the last year and a half were for you, but Henry got very good care, most of all from you. It's good to hear that for his last days he got to do the simple things he liked to do, and that his passing was peaceful. I hope he will remain your sunshine in the memories of your years together.
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Old Mon Dec 6, 2010, 03:07 PM
Birgitta-A Birgitta-A is offline
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Posts: 1,918

Dear Ann,
I'm so sorry you lost beloved your husband. It's good he didn't suffer but fell asleep. You have a wonderful, positive attitude, and lots to be grateful for.
Warm regards
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Old Mon Dec 6, 2010, 05:44 PM
Al's Wife Al's Wife is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Jackson, Georgia USA
Posts: 205

My heart goes out to you in your loss. You are in our thoughts and prayers. God bless you. I know you have many wonderful memories to help sustain you during this most difficult of times.

Linda, Al's wife, 75; dx MDS 5/2010; Vidaza 6/2010; ARRY614 & Sapacitabine clinical trials at Emory, no results, stopped 12/2011. Had BMB at NIH on 6/5/12, blasts 10-15% so he's not eligible for trial there. :eek Promacta trial, Tampa, blasts 25-30% 8/17/12 AML, trying Dacogen now and praying.
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Old Mon Dec 6, 2010, 06:02 PM
Susan L Susan L is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ga
Posts: 245
Dear Ann

I am so sorry for your loss. You had been so strong for your dear loved one. Thank you for all your contributions to the forum it was always nice to hear the caregivers side of things. Take care of yourself.
Susan Patient, 58, MDS, UPDATED 9/13
Now have RAEB-2, Firbrosis 3+, blasts 18% peripheral, 10 - 14% blasts marrow, chromosomes now T 1:21, trisonomy 16 and 1.- Match found ---10/10 -couldn't believe when I heard - Tentative day is 1/09th!!!! Admit date changed to 11/12. WOW -
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Old Tue Dec 7, 2010, 04:53 PM
Lisa V Lisa V is offline
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Waimanalo, Hawaii
Posts: 401
Ann, I'm sure every caregiver reading this will have some idea what you are feeling, but we'll never truly know until we get there ourselves. My heart goes out to you, and I'm glad that Henry went peacefully, and apparently without being diminished in any way that matters. That is something you can hang onto. Every "good" death is a victory in my book.
-Lisa, husband Ken age 60 dx SAA 7/04, dx hypo MDS 1/06 w/finding of trisomy 8; 2 ATGs, partial remission, still using cyclosporine
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Old Tue Dec 7, 2010, 06:24 PM
Mary4Mike Mary4Mike is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 68

What a beautiful testimony of your life together.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Mary and Mike
Mary, wife of Mike age 70; diagnosed MDS RARS 1999. Tried Vidaza, Revlimid, and Dacogen. SCT 10/1/09 at U of MI; induction FluBu2; sister perfect match donor. 5 years out, little to no GVHD. Off all meds. God is good
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Old Tue Dec 7, 2010, 08:28 PM
Zoe's Life Zoe's Life is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Logan, Ohio
Posts: 127

Thank you for sharing your life with us. What a wonderful support you were for Henry, while being such an inspiration of hope for so many others through this forum and I am sure in other ways. God bless you and comfort you in this time.

Diagnosed MDS-RA 5q- at age 47 (November 2006). Aranesp 2/07, good response.
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Old Wed Dec 8, 2010, 09:15 AM
Lori Patrick Lori Patrick is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 166
Ann, I can tell from reading your post how much you two loved each other. I am so thankful that he went peacefully. Be sure you take care of you and ask God for peace. Lori
Lori, female age 53 dx MDS-RAEB-II 15% blasts 10-2010. Induc Chemo 10/14/10 for 7 days - results unacceptable so 5 additional days chemo. Complete Remission 12/10/10!! SCT 1-11-11 remission achieved!!! BMB 1-29-11 100% Donor! cgvh eyes,skin (Caringbridge.org/visit/loripatrick)
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Old Fri Dec 10, 2010, 02:16 AM
cathybee1 cathybee1 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Fort Jones, California
Posts: 399
Ann, I am so so sorry. And I want to thank you for all your posts, I have learned so much from your and Henry's journey.
Catherine, wife of Bruce age 75; diagnosed 6/10/11 with macrocytic anemia, neutropenia and mild thrombocytopenia; BMB suggesting emerging MDS. Copper deficient. Currently receiving procrit and neuopogen injections weekly, B12 dermal cream and injections, Transfusions ~ 5 weeks.
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Old Fri Dec 10, 2010, 03:07 PM
launch launch is offline
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 193
Dear Ann,

I am so sorry of your and your family's loss. You showed so much love for your husband through your posts and private messages we've exchanged. You also lifted so many people going through similar situations by posting to them.

I'm glad it was a peaceful passing, but I'm still sorry he was called home....

May God carry you through this difficult time.

Hugs, Cindy
Cindy, wife of Ron 66 dx w/MDS(RARS)Feb'09,Vidaza 13mons. BMB 2/10 -5q/increased blasts. Watch/wait May-Jul10. Revlimid Jul-Aug10:A-Fib. BMB Aug18, 12%blasts. MDS to AML. Induction completed 9/21/10. BMB Oct10:CR. Consolidaton:10/25/10. Dacogen Dec27-29. SCT on Hold. Fevers/Nt sweats Jan11.
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Old Tue Dec 21, 2010, 09:01 AM
Paula W. Paula W. is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Jackson, NJ
Posts: 61


So sorry for your loss. I'm going through this with my mom. She will be 77 next week and has been treated with Vidaza. At first the Vidaza was working beautifully, but it has stopped working and there is nothing they can do for her. The doctor told me that she has approx. 6 months to live. I'm so devastated by this news. She looks and feels great, so it's hard to comprehend what he is saying. I hope that God takes my mom as peacefully as he took your husband. May God bless all who have this horrible disease. God bless you and your family.

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